Juice Feast: Day 12

Sleep: 11:15 p.m. to 7:45 a.m. --had psychedelic dreams last night! Everything was animated and the details were amazing!
Hot Tea: 2 cups peppermint-- I am craving tea more than plain water these days...feeling colder and colder as all my extra layers disappear
Skin brushing/tongue scraping
Hot/cold contrasting shower
Juice: 32 oz "master cleanse" -- first time I have done this. Mixed reviews...way too sweet, but better once diluted down a bit. Next time I would either skip the agave all together or add only half of the suggested amount
Juice: 20 ounces "Pretty in Pink" -- grapefruit, oranges, tangelos, msm, liquid C
Juice: 64 ounces "Italian Stallion"- celery, carrot, collards, cuke, scallions, alfalfa sprouts, endive, dill, lime, tomato, yellow squash, fennel, cayenne, Himalayan sea salt, kelp granules
Juice: 32 oz "Paradise Punch" --pineapple, green apple, ginger, lime
Coconut water: 160z
2 tsp bee pollen with 2 Tbsp honey: found myself dipping into the honey jar a few times to many
Additional Supplements: Vitamin D3, Intestinal Movement Formula, E3 Live
Yoga: 2 hour advanced class with the lovely Zhenja. It was such a treat to FINALLY get to yoga class and be flooded with smiles and prana from my fellow yogi friends. Unfortunately my body would have rather me be doing restoratives, but I did what I could and watch in wonderment when I needed a break.
Walk: 1.5 hours

Juice feasting as given me full access to my subconscious and dream world that I have always longed to tap into but never felt like I could. I have always envied people who could remember their dreams detail by detail and now I am finally one of those people. The juice seems to be peculating deep into my micro channels and sweeping away the cobwebs to reveal a whole other inner world. The colors, sounds, faces, and complexities of all of my dreams are so vivid and full of life, I wake up feeling like I just watched the most amazing movie. It's pretty wild. Who needs drugs when you have juice!?!?! I am going to start writing them all down in a journal because who knows maybe I will make a movie based on them someday....hummm Movie Director-- that would be an interesting profession change! haha

But really the most profound part of being so in engaged with my dreams is that they are revealing some deep emotional memories that I have been apparently holding onto since childhood. Technically I am not in the "child" phase yet of this cleanse (each day of JFing takes you back 120 days), but right now my dreams are featuring me as a kids (looks like about 5 or 6) and feeling neglected by my mother....really interesting since my mother was a stay at home mom when I was that young and very much in my life, whereas my dad was the one never home. But my feeling from the dream is not that she was emotionally neglecting me but nutritionally neglecting me.

Going back to my original reasons for doing this JF (refer to pre-feast posts) my mother craved mostly refined sugars and starches when she was pregnant with me, and fully indulged in them, and as a result, I too have been hooked on them. Going raw has helped a lot, but I have transferred those cravings over into the raw world too by overeating the raw treats, honey, agave, etc. Growing up my mom would feed us all the standard junk foods, whereas my dad (and even more so once my parents got divorced and he married my step-mom who only eats organic whole foods) only feed us natural, organic healthy foods. So it makes since that I would have felt under fed and malnourished by my mother, even though she was my primary caregiver.

It also makes since that this is all coming up because I have been on this mission ever since I came into my own to be healthy and be in the alternative health field dispite this opposing pull to want the bad stuff. It's like the devil and angle syndrome. My mother is on the opposite quest --still eats lots of sugars, processed foods, microwaves everything, fast food etc., even though she has developed all kinds of lifestyle acquired illnesses because of it. It has been SOO hard for me to be around her for the last couple of years because of our drastically different ways of living.

And yet, having had this dream, where I was literally sobbing and screaming and releasing massive amounts of harbored pain, anger, frustration and sadness I feel so much relief and softness towards my mom. It's like I have forgiven her and have no reason to blame her or shun her anymore. My mind feels liberated from the tension; my body has purged itself of the hate and rage that could have easily manifested itself into something more serious like cancer or arthritis ( acidic emotions getting lodged in the joints) and my heart feelings like a gushing wellspring of acceptance and love.