Radical. Rational. Juiceing and Feasting. Experiment

Taking Responsibility for Your Family's Health

2009-10-30T05:51:00.000-07:00

Dear Readers,

Out of concern for all the fear around the swine flu, and the pro's/con's around the vaccines for it, I thought I would write a post reminding you that there is so much one can do through lifestyle and diet to keep you and your kids immunities up and therefore less vulnerable to the flu and other illnesses. How you decide to fuel your body can make or break your immunity.

Refer to Natalia Rose's website for a bunch of kid friendly recipes that include fruits, veggies and good sources of fat and protein (Yes, dark leafy veggies do have protein in them and unlike processed lunch meats are a clean source of protein, vitamins, minerals, hydration and fiber, wooHoo!).

The major "foods" that tax immune systems greatly as well as drain energy are below in black: (and in blue are good alternatives)

White Foods:

Refined sugar, fake maple syrup, high glucose corn syrup and artificial sweeteners--stevia, agave (in moderation), raw honey, REAL maple syrup (in moderation)
Refined flours and baked goods, ie., white bread, donuts, cakes, cookies, white pasta, buns, rice--sprouted whole wheat breads that only have 3 or four REAL ingredients that you recognize listed; brown rice, quinoa, gluten-free baked goods, whole-wheat or gluten free pasta, sprouted grain buns and wraps.

Processed Foods:

Essentially anything in a package: chips, candies, crackers, cereals, peanut butters, etc. -- raw and unsalted nuts and seeds (not peanuts which have over 20 different kind of fungus on them and are rancid), almond butter, whole grain or gluten free crackers, dark chocolate, agave or honey sweetened candies, natural fruit leathers, brown rice crackers, panda puff cereals and low sugar/high fiber cereals.
Meats: hot dogs, deli meats, pepperoni, beef jerky, hormone injected meats like beef and chicken, eggs, orange and america cheese, frozen foods-- Annie's organic mac and cheese/prepared frozen foods, sulfate-free/hormone free meats, wild caught fish, free range eggs, goats cheese or sheep's cheese rather than cow cheese (mush much easier to digest).

Sugary and diet Drinks:

Soda!!!!!-- natural sodas on OCCASION
Concentrate juices-- fresh squeezed juice, carrot juice, apple cider
Juice boxes-- organic juice boxes on OCCASION, water with fresh lemon, fresh squeezed juice
Flavored waters--real water with fresh lemon juice or a hint of fresh oJ and a few drops of stevia
Chocolate milk--chocolate almond milk
Iced teas/Lemonades--real lemonade sweetened with stevia or agave
instant hot chocolate or anything from those machines at the gas station--real hot coco on OCCASION

Dairy:

Squeeze yogurts or the ones with lots of added sugars and god forbid the candy toppings, yikes! Coconut milk yogurt, organic Keefer (much easier to digest), organic goats or sheep's milk sweetened with honey
Hormone injected milk --best is raw milk from cows or better goats, unsweetened almond or hemp milk
Margarine--real organic butter, olive oil, coconut butter
Plastic and fake cheeses like the orange nacho cheese--real organic cheese, almond cheese, goats/sheep cheese
Ice cream--organic REAL ice cream that should only have 5 max ingredient in them, coconut milk based ice cream.
Whip topping-- Real organic whip cream on occasion

Bad quality salt:

Table salts-Himalayan sea salt or Celtic sea salt
Very salty processed foods (anything in a bag typically)-- unsalted almonds, cashews, walnuts
Soy Sauce-- Tamari, Namo Shoyu

Fats:

Margerine--organic butter, coconut butter
Vegetable Oils-- for cooking always use coconut oil as it does not turned rancid under hight heat. AFTER cooking you can drizzle cold-pressed olive oil and/or flax and hemp oil on your food for a nutty flavor.
Shortenings-- coconut butter, organic butter, apple sauce

Caffeine/Alcohol:

sodas--see above
coffee-- decaf to wean you and then green teas
teas-- rooibos, green, herbal
Hard liquor, beer: occasional organic red wine

In addition to food getting 8+ hours of rest, drinking plenty of water (not flavored waters, sodas or juices other than fresh pressed), dressing warmly, making sure your kids are having regular bowel movements (the colon's health determines over 80% of your over all immunity so if it is sluggish that can make you much more vulnerable to dis-ease. MORE FRESH veggies, fruits and whole grains, please!), connecting to nature and people rather than machines and video games and of course outdoor play is key. If your children are often feeling stressed out or anxious, this can also lower immunity significantly. Daily doses of good quality fish oils, probiotics (I really like the branded "renewed life"), Vit. C (not the chewy gummies please as they are full of other crap), and zinc are great for immunity too.

Here are a few more links from another trusted nutritionist/mother's blog, Natalia Rose:

http://www.detoxtheworld.com/audio/natalia-rose-feeding-and-teaching-kids-051309.mp3

http://www.detoxtheworld.com/blog-detail.php?ID=42

If you are interested in doing a whole foods based cleanse, I highly recommend the book CLEAN by Dr. Alejandro Junger. I have meet and spoken at length with him many times and he is fabulous and knows what he is talking about. A friend of mine who has three boys actually put one of her sons on this cleanse because he was on the brink of being medicated for behavioral issues as well as what the Dr's thought was the beginnings of Crohn's and Colitis. After doing the "elimination" diet portion of this cleanse all the tests came back negative and he is back to being a happy kid! :)

Be well and if there was ever a time in history to do something good for yourself, NOW is the time!

In good health,

Kyle

Summer Reading List

2009-06-02T18:04:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been blessed by so many good reads that I would like to share with you.

Mindset, by Carol Dweck. Dweck explains in this book "why it's not just our abilities and talent that bring us success-- but whether we approach our goals with a fixed or growth mindset."

Eating in the Light of the Moon, by Anita Johnston. "How women can transform their relationships with food through myths, metaphors & storytelling."

A Sugar Addicts Total Recovery Program, by Kathleen DesMaisons. "She explains exactly how you can free your mind and body from the tyranny of sugar and shake off the exhaustion, mental fogginess, and mood swings that sugar dependence causes."

**While I don't totally agree with her dietary approach of a high meat diet, I do think she has many wonderful insights on sugar addiction.**

Breakthrough, by Suzanne Somers. "Discover how to: Balance hormones through bioidentical (not synthetic, cancer-causing) hormone replacement. Fix thyroid problems. Sleep 8 to 9 hours each night without drugs. Improve memory. Detect diabetes early. Prevent and manage cancer. Restore hearing. Preserve eyesight." This is A MUST READ!!

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, by Ina May Gaskin. "Everything you need to know to have the best birth experience for you-- whether in a hospital, birthing center, or the comfort of home."

Yoga Hotel, by Maura Moynihan. "A charming and delightful book. It offers great insight into the world of India."

Donate Your Weight, by Sheri O. Zampelli. "The stress-free program to stop dieting, get slim and help others while doing it."

Intuitive Eating, by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch. "Make peace with food. Free yourself from chronic dieting forever. Get to the natural weight that fits you."

As summer comes our way, I wish you a lot of relaxation, rejuvenation and fun! If you have books you'd like to share with us, please leave a comment!

Happy Solstice!

Kyle

Tongue Analysis: A window into your internal health

2009-03-08T20:10:00.000-07:00

Your tongue accurately reflects the state of your digestive system- from rectum to esophagus, including the stomach, small intestines, colon (large intestine), pancreas, spleen, liver and gall bladder.

Imagine, you don't need a battery of tests to find out what part of your digestive tract is in stress. You can diagnosis the whole GI tract and corresponding organ integrity all in one easy view- just stick your tongue out and take a good look at it.

As a whole the tongue reflects the condition of the digestive system and the organs associated with blood, nutrient assimilation, and excretion. You can also see how 'hot' or how 'cold' your internal organs are. Therefore it has a high value as a diagnostic tool.

Specific sections of the tongue mirror the condition of particular parts of the digestive system and the digestion related internal organs.

The following correspondences exist in this relationship:

A- the tip area reflects the rectum and the descending colon.

B- the peripheral area reflects the large intestine.

C- the middle region corresponds to the small intestine.

D- the back edge region relates to the liver, gallbladder, duodenum, and pancreas.

E- the near back region corresponds to the stomach.

F- the back region ('the root of the tongue') reflects the esophagus.

G- the underside of the tongue reflects the quality of blood and lymph circulation in each corresponding area.

Structural characteristics

Like each particular area of the body, the tongue can be used to evaluate one's overall condition.

Zetsu Shin as it is called in Japanese, is one of the most important forms of diagnosis used in Chinese medicine. Two main aspects are considered in tongue diagnosis.

First is the structure of the tongue. Is it wide or narrow, thick or thin, pointed or rounded? Such qualities convey information concerning the individuals basic constitution and overall strengths and weaknesses of body and mind.

Width:

a wide tongue reflects an overall balanced physical and psychological disposition.
a narrow tongue reflects a lack of physical adaptability with pronounced strengths and weaknesses. Mentally, thinking may be sharp but tend toward seeing a narrow view.
a very wide tongue reflects a generally loose and expanded physical condition and a tendency toward more psychological concerns.

Tip:

a rounded tip reflects a flexible yet firm physical and mental condition.
a pointed tip reflects a tight, perhaps even rigid physical condition and an aggressive or even offensive mentality.
a very wide tip reflects an overall weakness of the physical body and a flaccid or even "spaced out" mental condition.
a divided tip reflects a tendency toward physical and mental imbalances with the possibility of sharp fluctuations in thinking and mood.

Thickness:

a flat tongue reflects a balanced condition and the ability to flexibly adapt to circumstances.
a thin tongue reflects a more mental orientation, with a tendency to be more gentle and easy going.
a thick tongue reflects a more physical orientation, with the tendency to be assertive or even aggressive.

In comparison to structure, the condition of the tongue is influenced more by daily lifestyle and provides information about an individuals current state of health. Qualities to look for include:

Color:

Dark red: indicates inflammation; lesions or ulceration; and sometimes a degeneration of the related organ.
White: indicates stagnation of blood; fat and mucus deposits; or a weakness in the blood leading to such conditions as anemia.
Yellow: indicates a disorder of the liver and gallbladder, resulting in an excess secretion of bile; deposits of animal fats, especially in the middle organs of the body; and possible inflammation.
Blue or Purple: indicates stagnation of blood circulation and a serious weakening of the part of the digestive system that corresponds to the area of the tongue where the color appears.

The color on the underside of the tongue can also be used to determine the internal condition. In general, the colors and their indications listed above are the same, with the following exceptions:

Blue or Green: In excess, either of these color reflect disorders in the blood vessels and in blood quality and circulation.
Purple: In excess, this color reflects disorders of the lymphatic and circulatory system. It indicates a weakening of the immune ability and of the blood vessels.

Texture:

a swollen or enlarged tongue: indicates a Jitsu, or full state.
a shriveled or withered-looking tongue: indicates a Kyo, or empty state.

Movement:

the flexibility of the tongue also reflects the condition of the digestive system. Characteristics to look for include:
- a flexible, supple, smoothly moving tongue.
- a stiff, tense, or inflexible tongue.
- a loose or lolling tongue.
- a tongue with a pronounced slant to the left or right when it is extended.

Pimples or projections of the tongue's surface indicate the discharge of fat, protein, and sugar. Where in the body this discharge is coming from can be determined by the specific area of the tongue on which it appears. You can find the correlation between the areas of the tongue and the digestive tract.

When cleansing notice how your tongue changes daily. At first it may get worse before it gets better because of the detox and everything dislodging from the tissues and coming to the surface. But over time this will lessen and lessen. Once your tongue is a beautiful pinkish color with little to no coating, you will know that you have done a long enough and thorough cleanse.

Juice Fasting Vs. Master Cleanse

2009-01-25T11:42:00.000-08:00

The debate over whether the Master Cleanse is safe and effective has come up a lot recently in my workshops and consultations, so I thought I would make my thoughts available for all.

The Master Cleanse has gotten so much hype and press in the past couple of years, thanks to celebrity endorsements, it is not surprising that people would think that this is the safest and best cleanse out there. And why not? It is easy in terms of preparation, cheap in terms of supplies and ingredients, makes a refreshing drink that most people find palatable, and you are guaranteed to lose weight and feel relatively good in just a few days. (Note that this is not every ones experience-- the feeling good part)

The Master Cleanse is also a pretty marketable and easy sell for busy people who want to do a cleanse but don't necessarily have the time or desire to put a lot of time into it. But quick, easy, tasty and cheap does not always mean it is good or right for you.

Juice cleanses are in my opinion the better choice, but are a harder sell because they require more time, money and understanding. After using myself as a human experiment, my better inner judgement told me very clearly that flooding my body with 4 quarts of freshly pressed veggie and fruit juices was by far a more effective, cleansing and nurturing cleanse. And here's why.

Freshly made juices, particularly those with at least 50 percent greens in them (kale, spinach, chard, parsley, collards, beet greens, dandelion greens, celery, cucumber, etc) are teeming with a diverse (our bodies just like nature thrives and grows on diversity) amount of nutrients that is quickly absorbed into the blood stream and delivered to the cells. Once in the cells, accumulated toxic matter and gasses begin to awaken and loosen up and are then released into the lymphatic system. The lymphatic system is like our waste disposal system responsible for carrying cellular garbage to one of the many elimination organs, such as our skin, lungs and colon (large intestine).

In addition to the cleansing effects of the cells, these juices also loosen any compacted fecal matter that has been accumulating in our colons. Our colons are like the garbage can of the body and therefore need to be cleaned out every so often otherwise it overflows and reek havoc on our immune systems and our abilities to digest and eliminate.

While on a cleanse, cellular toxins get awakened and dumped into the colon at such a fast rate it is highly recommended that one gets regular gravitational style colonic irrigations to make sure that the toxins get flushed out in a timely manner. In many ways the colonics are the true cleanse, because unless these toxins get flushed out of your body they will just continue to recirculate and become more activated and more damaging the the long run.

So while all this loosening, awakening and elimination of toxins are accruing, the cells and tissues are being rebuilt with organic vitamins, minerals, proteins, and digestive enzymes, making you feel and look younger, more energetic, slimmer and A LIVE! :)

Your body is also getting super hydrated and alkaline from all the naturally distilled water from the vegetables and fruits.

You can also consider juice cleansing as more of a feast than a fast, because the goal is to flood your body with nutrients, while decompressing the cells of toxic material. Why would you want to deprive yourself of that?

The Master Cleanse, on the other hand, is less than ideal for the body because it is not as diverse in terms of ingredients and therefore very nutrient poor. It also has high amounts of sugar from the maple syrup, which is not good for stabilizing blood glucose or for diabetics. While it does do some cleansing of the cells, this cleanse mainly targets dissolving fatty deposits in the tissues and liver. This is good, but the juices do the same and much more! Also, because the Master Cleanse so low in calories and protein it can really slow down a persons metabolism making it harder to keep the weight off once you are back on solid foods.

But do you have choose on or the other?

The answer is yes and no. What I have done in the past is incorporated one or two quarts of spicy lemonade into my mostly juice cleanses, but replaced the maple syrup with stevia, a natural leaf sweetener that does not effect blood sugar but rather helps the body increase its glucose tolerance over time. This way you are getting all the nutrients you need from the juices and getting the best cleansing effects of the master cleanse without any compromises to your health.

Without a doubt, both cleanses give the body a much needed break from digestion so that it can repair any damages that have been done, dissolve nagging aches and pains, dissolve fatty tissues, cleanse the liver and give you more energy. But incorporating the best qualities of each and taking the time to take care of yourself in a way that honors your body, mind and spirit is the true essence of any cleanse.

For more information on both cleanses check out:

www.yourguidetodetox.com/YGD/home.html and www.therawfoodsite.com/mastercleanse.htm

turning Up the Heat eating Raw!

2008-11-21T17:36:00.000-08:00

Raw food and heat? Huh? I know it sounds very counter intuitive, but according to raw food expert, author and researcher, Victoria Boutenko, consistently eating a raw food diet will actually straighten your adrenal glands and improve your circulation over time.

In this excerpt below, she get to the root of why one feels cold in the winter. Believe it or not it is NOT the raw food, it's the cooked stuff!

"Can we eat raw food in the cold climate? I know many persons who quit the raw food lifestyle because they were afraid that they would become too cold during the winter. Let us take a closer look at this situation. Would a quarter pound of rice physically keep a 160lbs body warm? In order to get warmed by it, one would have to fill a bathtub with warm rice and sit in it for 20 mins.

So why do we feel warmer after consuming cooked food? A hot meal, a cup of coffee or ice-cold shots of vodka warm our body in the same manner. When any impure substances get into our blood through the walls of the intestines, they irritate our adrenals, the endocrine glands located above the kidneys. The adrenals immediately begin to produce epinephrine, norepinephine and a variety of steroid hormones. These hormones stimulate our sympathetic nervous system, which is why we feel awake at first. They also force our heart to beat faster and pump larger amounts of blood through our body, which makes us feel warm. This feeling doesn't last long and we pay a high price for it. After 10-15 mins our body gets exhausted from performing extra work, sleepy and even colder than before. However, we remember only the feeling of getting warmer after eating cooked food and repeat such stimulation again and again. This harmful practice wears the body out and by the end of the winter many people feel exhausted and depleted.

Another reason why it is hard for many of us to tolerate cold temperatures us because eating a cooked food diet severely impairs our capillary circulation. According to Dr. Alexander Zalmanoff, author of "Sacred Wisdom of Human Body" 80% of all blood in any human body is located in the capillaries and only 20% in arteries and veins. Tiny capillaries get clogged easily by unnaturally large particles of cooked food, and the blood no longer circulates adequately.

If you truly ant to feel warm during the cold season, a raw food lifestyle is an inevitable choice for you. During your first "raw" winter you may experience some coldness due to your weakened adrenals, so put on an extra sweater, take a hot bath, exercise and do yoga. If you continue being raw, your adrenals will rest and recover, your capillary circulation will improve, your nervous system and your heart will naturally strengthen without any artificial stimulation."

If this is your first raw winter, let these facts help put your mind at ease-- you are doing the right thing so keep on eating those green juices, salads, blends, avocados, nuts and seeds.

But while you wait for your body to clean house here are a few other things that can help keep you warm inside and out.

Add lots of ginger to your juices and blends
Add warming spices to your dressings, blends and meals, such as cinnamon, nutmeg, cayenne pepper, red pepper flakes, curry powders, garlic, onions, ginger.
Put a pinch ( and I mean JUST a pinch) of cayenne pepper in your socks and mittens-- instant hand and foot warmers!
Sauna (Infra-Red is the best) once a week
Get gravitational style colonics. When you cleanse the colon more space is created for your micro channels to release more toxins into. If your colon is clogged so is the rest of you!
Let your food come up to room temperature before eating. Never eat or drink anything straight out of the fridge. Not only will you feel cold on the inside, you are weakening your immune system
Exercise! Get that lymphatic system rocking and rolling and your heart pumping naturally with movement. Yoga, rebounding, walking, pilates, swimming, chi-running, dancing are all great, low-impact ways to increase circulation

Warm blessings to you all!
xokyle

My Rational Raw Truth

2008-09-09T18:50:00.001-07:00

Awwww... it feels really great to be back into the blogging swing of things. After taking a good long sabbatical (got married this summer, yeah!), I am back with more fire and enthusiasm than ever. I have so many juicy ideas to post about, but today, I have decided to confront a recent infuriating experience that involved (and still does) me, my choice in lifestyle and the mainstream media.

To give you some context, a few months ago, I was asked by a co-worker to participate in a raw food support group that she hosts once a month. This is a safe and supportive place for our clients and others that are either raw foodist, in the health industry, or interested in any of the above to come and share/ask/tell and educate one another about the raw food lifestyle. This particular meeting was unique because the ABC show 20/20 was coming to film our group for an upcoming episode on raw foods. Being a health writer for FOX News myself, I thought how wonderful that the mainstream media wants to do a report on raw foods and its healing effects on people like ourselves. How naive of me!

The experience of being taped was pleasant enough and quite comfortable. They let us say what we wanted to say and even bought us a bunch of raw food from a local raw restaurant. The man (I forget his name) who was representing 20/20 even tried some and was pleasantly surprised by how good it was.

Our support group had a wide variety of our clients represented, all of whom have directly benefited from eating raw foods and have even cured themselves of various illnesses such as candida, cancer, cysts, sever digestive issues. They spoke about their recoveries and how raw foods is more than just what they eat, but truly a lifestyle of natural health and personal responsibility.

We also discuss the effort in being a raw foodist, considering that most of the world lives in a fast-food prepared mentality of quarterpounders and fries and considers an "energy bar" or popping vitamins a meal.

I personally talked about how preparing my food each day as a raw foodist can take hours, but in the same breath how it took me about the same amount of time if not more to make my meals when I was eating cooked foods. I mentioned that when one takes control of their health you can feel a bit isolated and at times make you feel aware of your lifestyle choices non-stop.

When I watched the 20/20 episode I was APPALLED by the way in which they construed, manipulated and sensationalized the raw foods lifestyle. Rather than focusing on how raw foods has a healing effect on people, they choose to focus on two individuals that were not our clients, and were extreme cases of what one can experience if they are not educated on how to properly transition to a raw foods diet. These people were very emaciated physically and clearly very sick. Flash back to our group and you see 12 very glowing, strong, athletic happy individuals that look quite "normal." ( I would rather say well above average :)

John Stossel, 20/20's right wing host, compared our healing, well informed and healthy support group to two emaciated individuals that have been coined as "Orthorexics" or people that are so obsessed with health they are unhealthy. He made it seem as though anyone who eats raw food has Orthorexia and is slowly killing themselves due to this kind of modern eating disorders. His comments where misguided and misinformed, his cunning attitude not only made raw foods seem like a "crazy" and dangerous idea.

I felt like I was watching a bad Reality TV show or one of those Entertainment Tonight deals. The quick camera cuts from one person to another, with only half of their thoughts included so that everything is taken out of context and sound outlandish was very effective on Stossel's part. He captured exactly what he wanted: Extremes - consciously creating the response he wanted: Fear.

It has just been a day and a half and already my in-laws in Nebraska have called and said many of their friends saw me on TV and hope I am not ever going to get as ill and skinny as the main guest are. I have had people in NYC that don't even know me see me on the street and ask me about it and what kind of "group" I am apart of as though we are terrorists or something!

Although only about 3 lines of my entire interview made the cut, they were spliced and edited in such a way that made me and my group seem like were were just as mentally and physically as sick as the main featured guest.

This experience is not just my own it is yours too and happening every day, every minute. As soon as we turn on our TVs, radios and open the newspaper, we are getting a very manipulated and consciously construed version of someone with some power's idea of reality to keep the dumb (i.e., you and me) dumber/dazed/confused, and more importantly scared, and the fat rich guy, fatter, richer and more secure at the top.

I find this utterly disgusting, sad and damaging.

But ultimately it is an invitation. It is a invitation for us to get fired up, outraged and to leave our comfort zones and find our voices individually and collectively. One of the beauties of raw foods, when consumed smartly, which of course they did not mention once in the show, is the fact that eating this way gives you mental clarity, does not numb you from seeing and feeling the truth like many cooked processed foods do, and gives you more energy to use than hours in the day.

I invite all raw foodist and non-raw foodist that have a healthy and educated lifestyle they adhere to to get up and take a stand for your rights and lifestyle choices!

The way our civil liberties have been taken away during these past few years, I would not put it passed the current administration to start dictating what one can and can not eat and what is government accepted "food." Trust me it won't be green leafy veggies, ripe fruits, avocados, nuts/seeds, healthy oils and green juices!

Spontaneous Juice Feast

2008-07-08T20:41:00.000-07:00

Yup, 3 days and feeling light and good!

Two friends of mine, one physical (Kim), and one virtual (Sandy), inspired me to get juicy for a few days to kick-start another fun-filled plan of action, so to speak.

LOVED the fruit, but need to give it a break for a little bit as I was starting to find myself feeling a little off balance and falling towards foods that were the complete opposite (salty and cooked).

With the markets in their full glory right now, I am longing for getting my pleasures through a variety of greens and juices.

Essentially, I am going with my intuition these days and if the fruit angles come back and say its time to get extra fruity then I am game! But for now I am going for the greens and some avocado, but no nuts, and oils.

Tomorrow I am very much looking forward to a salad made with fresh greens complements of a beautiful upstate farm, topped with a little avocado, red pepper, tomatoes, celery, garlic, cilantro, and a pinch of sea salt dressing. All to be consumed before 6pm and not after (my newest experiment).

So thank you all, no matter what your food style ways may be for inspiring me to continually try out new things! Whether I stick with it, like it, dislike it-- doesn't matter, it is finding the opportunity that is present in each experience that makes me grow closer and closer to my true nature.

May we all continue to uniquely define what we as individuals need to grow closer and closer to our inner bliss.

Wedding Bells and The Bride's Butt (that's mine!;)

2008-07-05T20:41:00.000-07:00

Well, the good news is that there are only three weeks to go till I get married, the bad news is I have NO time to blog! But, once we settle down from all the festivities I will be back in blogging action, I promise!

Just a little update on what I am doing lifestyle wise these day.

I have been giving the 811rv diet a pretty fair shot this past month and not really feeling like it is 100% right for me. I love feeling so hydrated and fruity, but at the same time I am not experiencing a lot of the benefits other 811rv report feeling. No worries, I am not writing it off all together, but I am going to lay off the fruit for a bit as I am feeling the need to focus more on greens and veggie juices these days.

My new (old) protocol is as follows:

Green juice

Salad with 1/2 avocado, herb, citrus dressing, no oil

Green juice

Salad or blended raw soup for dinner with no fats

NO MORE EATING AFTER 6PM (tough one here in NYC)

And of course TONS of lemon water in between meals.

A good friend of mine followed this diet (per Gil Jacobs -- a raw food and colon therapy expert) for several weeks and found she felt and looked really good and the results were apparent quickly. That is what I need with only three weeks till show time!!

Have a great month everyone...I will keep checking in on your blogs and giving you support from afar.

Riding the Waves

2008-06-25T18:59:00.000-07:00

....of breath and intuition.

This past week has been about stepping back, getting to the essence of what I want and then letting go of my "goal" oriented attitude. I have FINALLY come to realize that although setting goals and creating a direction for myself has served me in many ways, in also has sent me flying in the opposite direction or going round and round the hamster wheel.

This little intuition of mine has always lingered in the back of my head, but it finally came the forefront, after getting some very deep Rolfing work down. My therapist who has seen me transition in to a raw diet, complete my 30 day juice cleanse and then bounce back and forth to every place in between, gave me some very simple and direct advise the other day: "Kyle, you really need to start nurturing yourself, and I am sure all of these little issues and tensions that your body is holding will fade away."

At first, I was really taken aback and thought, "what do you mean I need to START nurturing myself? ALL I DO IS NURTURE MYSELF!!" Or so I thought.

But looking outside myself I discovered he is so right, I just think I nurture myself, when in fact I am so caught up in my head that I have forgotten to just listen to my intuitions, stop micro-managing everything that goes in (and out! haha) of my body, and just be.

Letting go of control has always been a tough one for me. Mostly because I am scared of what I will do if I do. "Will I get enough," "will I be healthy," "will I get fat/skinny," "will I feel accepted?" are just a few of the fear-based thoughts that stream through my head everyday. And yet, being overly controlling is not getting me closer to a bliss-filled life I truly desire either.

I went to a Gil Jabobs lecture the other day (Gil is a radical voice in the raw community and also the best colon therapist in the city, if not the country), and he said something that really stuck with me. In essence he said, if this "life" (which he has a very specific definition for) is causing you more dis-ease than ease of being, then something isn't right. If you are thinking about it every waking moment than a shift needs to happen. He also talked about falling in love with the journey not the end result and embracing all that comes with the process of being the best person you can be within your means.

So my new mantras are " I allow myself...." and " I trust myself...."

It is amazing how each day has proven to be totally different in terms of what I need, want, desire, choose. Some days it eating all fruit feels really natural, little effort or work, satisfying and loving. Other days, just juicing feels like all of those things, or ironically eating some cooked foods and fats.

What's my barometer? What is the quality of my breath and where is it moving to and from? Is it deep or shallow? Is it slow or fast. For me my breath drastically changes depending on my circumstances. By tapping into its subtleties and allowing my breath to guide me, all I have to do is ride on its back and let it carry me with it.

"Where to?", my old voice would have immediately asked. My new voice says, "I don't know. Don't worry about it. Just sit back, relax and enjoy the ride."

Lighten Up Buttercup

2008-06-16T19:25:00.001-07:00

...yumm green juice latte! How could this be anything but good for you?

Well this weekend with my parents was wonderful in the moment, but now I am suffering from post-cooked food dis-ease.

The universe could not make it any CLEARER to me that cooked foods, dense raw foods (we did go to a wonderful raw restaurant with them one night, but I have to say I woke up feeling just as bad overindulging in raw food as I did cooked food!), SALT and fatty foods are not serving me in a healthy way AT ALL! In fact, I have become so sensitive to salt that I swear my ankles and entire body felt swollen and water retained after each meal.

So what's a bloated girl to do? Fast! Today I decided to really lighten things up with mostly juices and a little bit of fruit in it's whole forms to keep my body from going in "OH NO, not again" freak-out mode ( I only drank juice for 30 days straight and now my mind and body flip out every time I consider just juicing for a day.).

And I am already feeling so much lighter, happier and sharper. Thank goodness!

While my parents were here we also went to the Bodies Exhibition. WOW is all I can say. Our bodies are so much more delicate, complex, genius and beautiful than I even knew! It was both fascinating and disturbing to see examples of a healthy organ next to a cancerous or diseased organ. Really affirmed what we are all trying to do...be vibrant and happy beings!

I highly recommend seeing this show. It is a life changer...

Today I had (in order):

7:30 am 20oz water with lemon

1 slice watermelon

16oz green juice with apple and lemon

20oz Tri-Berry smoothie with spirulina and bee pollen

20 oz Watermelon juice

20 oz Green Lemonade

2 nectarines

12 oz Watermelon Juice

4 small bananas (probably only needed one or two)

2 apples (mindless munching at the computer, whoops!)

9:30pm 10oz Green Lemonade (nectar of the gods!)

Seems like a lot documenting it like this, but I did feel light all day! :)

I also did my usual to work and back walks (2 hrs total) and a few spontaneous sprints to get out of the rain!

Plan to do a similar diet tomorrow because I am feeling so good again.

Weekly Observations

2008-06-13T06:25:00.000-07:00

....wow, this image is both fabulous and creepy!

Sorry for being M.I.A, but my folks are in town so here is a quick check in.

Basically this week has been all about trial and error. I have been doing many good things for myself that seem balanced and nourishing, however towards the end of the day there seems to be more of the "error" happening: Overeating and eating too late at night; eating salty foods; staying up too late, eating out and feeling like I don't have many choices and giving in to the social pressures to just be "normal," etc., etc.

The empowering moments have been happening in the mornings starting off with my 45 min to an hour runs along the Hudson River, yoga (at home and in class), elimination (yippy) and eating lots of fruit and green juices.

I am attempting to change my computer work time to the day rather than night as I seem to get super "peckish" for all the wrong things (salty, fatty stuff these days). For some reason doing emails and blogs at night requires "smoke breaks" or rather "snack breaks" in my case, which leaves me heavy and full when going to bed and then sluggish in the mornings.

WATERMELON has done wonders for my running! Being so hydrated makes my recovering time way faster and my muscles far less sore.

I also have been experimenting with when and where to incorporate greens. It seems to vary from day to day, but I *think* (*subject to change every second*) this is what my body likes best:

7am: Run 1 hr
Recovery meal/Breakfast: Citrus or watermelon
Mid Morning snack: Green Juice
1 hr walk to work
Lunch: Mangoes and/or Bananas
Mid Afternoon snack: Green Juice
1 hr walk home
Dinner: Big salad or Big glass of fruit juice
Dessert: Banana or Berry "ice-cream"
Evening stroll

BUT, I definitely crave corn chips and crunchy salty numbers starting in the afternoon. Hoping throwing in a green juice in the afternoon with celery in it will curb that craving. I am SOOOO over it, UGHH! And yet........

Funny how in the past I was always so concerned with controlling my sugar intake, but looks like it is the salt and fats that are causing problems.

Not sure how I am going to fair with my parents in town...but even if I can't put everything I prefer into action, I will be gaining more awareness of what is going on internally and externally! And that is also a gift.

Being cool when it gets hot!

2008-06-09T12:22:00.000-07:00

It has been 90 plus degrees here in NYC for the last few days with over 100 percent humidity. Typically this would really bother me as the heat tends to make me lethargic, aggravated and edgy. But since going mostly raw last summer, I have noticed a shift in my body chemistry that makes me less sensitive to extreme temperatures, especially the heat. From an Ayurvedic point of view (an ancient science from India), raw foods are very cooling for the body, which makes them most appropriate to eat in the summer.

This summer, I am taking that to a whole new level but eating predominately fruit. I can't tell you how great it has felt to lay off the heavy fats and get juicy and hydrated with the fruits. Normally I would be dodging from place to place looking for AC, avoiding going outside and exercise, finding shade whenever possible. But these last few days, I have continued on as normal (except for sweating like mad) with my normal routine of running, walking and working from the house without the AC on, even when sleeping!!

Here are a few tips I have found useful to keep cool, functional and happy this summer when the heat is on:

Eat light during the day focusing on very juicy fruits (sweet and non-sweet) such as watermelon, honey dew, cantaloupe, cucumber, tomatoes, red bell pepper, kiwi, mangoes, papaya, etc.

Add cooling herbs to your fruits and veggies such as, cilantro and mint.

When you start to over heat dip your feet and your head in cool water. These are the two places we loose most of our heat from.

Drink lots of water with lemon or lime, cucumber or mint.

Exercise in the early mornings and early evenings.

Do cooling breathing exercises in the evening before going to bed or to avoid blowing up at someone! Take deep sips of breath through your month. Pretend you are actually breathing through a straw with your lips puckered, then breath out through your nose.

Get all the natural sodium you need through either juicing, blending or chomping on celery.

Carry a small spray bottle of rose water with you. Mist your face and neck when you start to feel like you are wilting. Not only will you feel refreshed but you will smell good too!

Avoid the A/C. It's addictive and hinders your body from being able to regulate its body proper body temperature.

Does anyone else have anything to add to this list?

Today I had:

Breakfast: 20 oz of Cucumber, fennel, lemon and apple. Many slices of watermelon

Lunch: Many slices of watermelon

Snack: Honey dew melon and watermelon

Dinner: 24 oz of cucumber, cilantro, lemon and apple. Mango Gazpacho, small green salad and banana-cocoa nib-mint ice cream. Now that will cool you off! ;)

Exercise:

45 min run by the water so there was a nice breeze

60 min walk to work and a 60 min walk from work

After dinner stroll....feeling very full, ugh -- too much ice cream!

Lots of sun and sweating!

Weight loss since starting 811rv (with a few off days): 3 pounds

Days 10 & 11: Speed Bumps

2008-06-05T21:32:00.000-07:00

It's funny how resistant I am to blog when I feel like I have hit a bump in the road and fallen off the wagon. But here I am ready to face it, and keep it real to myself and you all! This is very much part of my healing process..keeping things in the open and not hidden behind the curtains.

So everything was going really well, which has all to do why things are no longer going well. This is a very typical pattern for me: once the going gets good, I freak out and start back pedaling fast, usually out of fear. When I have perspective on my behavior it seems so silly and I feel uber frustrated, but when I am in the eye of the freak out, there seems to be no other options except fight or flight. I usually fight for a few minutes and then take flight as soon as I can get my hands on the next ticket out of town. But it goes as quickly as it comes. Typically the next day I wake up and feel fine again and in a space to make life affirming decisions for myself. But often there is a lot of post storm damage to clean up, which is a real bummer.

Like clock work, everyday I start off really strong and steadfast -- nothing can stray me off my path. But come 4pm or so, things start to slowly fall apart and foods that won't even tempt me in the morning are starting to taunt me and lure me their way. By 6pm, it's all over and I give in to my cravings with a vengeance. Of course regret soon kicks in and then guilt and then anger and then sadness that it happened, AGAIN! Urgghh

So yes this happened to me today, but I refuse to react with negative feelings towards myself and an "all is lost" attitude. That gets me nowhere good fast.

These bumps that inevitable arise along my journey I now realize are actually opportunities to stop, pause, breath and dive deeper into myself to find the "more-ness" of who I am. I no longer want to reject this part of me, because it is a part of me after all and until I can except ALL of me, I won't be able to fully move into a place of empowerment and happiness.

So what insights have these "bumps" (aka opportunities) blessed me with today?

Each day is new and my body needs different things depending, so you best be listening!
Some days I need more than other days, and that is ok.
There is no one way of doing things, even if that is what "the book" says.
Each day I get to recreate myself, how exciting!
Before eating drink water -- remember thirst can disguise itself as hunger and it distracts me just long enough to let a fleeting weak moment fleet on by.
Love love love thyself!

To end, I have to say I am really enjoying my evening runs. They clear space in my mind and body so that I have more room for compassion.

Looking forward to tomorrow's little blessings!

Days 8 & 9: Amping up the "vigorous" exercise

2008-06-03T19:11:00.000-07:00

...ok, I am not this out of shape but...
Lately I have been feeling like my body wants to be worked out more. I always thought that I was a super physical person -- never taking the subway and always walking to and fro even in bad weather; rebounding in addition to the walking (sometimes up to 8 miles a day, depending) and practicing yoga several times a week. But even so, my heart rate rarely gets pumping and rarely do I break into much of sweat unless it is really hot out. So this week, I have decided to amp it up a few notches and start running again.
I used to be a big runner in high school and college and here and there as a working adult, but gave it up once I found rebounding because I was finding myself really dreading the whole ordeal of outdoor running in the city, plus my body was literally aching for a break from all the pounding. So having had a good year off of it, I have been giving it a go again this week and LOVING IT! I forgot how awesome the endorphin release feels, how quickly your heart gets pumping and the sweat starts pouring. I also love how I feel after getting home, taking a shower and then eating my meal with zero hesitation as to weather or not I should be eating it.

The irony is is that I am LESS hungry now that I am running?!? I thought for sure I would be more ravenous, and me being someone who is hungry even when I am not hungry is perplexed as to how this could be? But, I am NOT complaining and going to dwell in this new found freedom for as long as it and my knees last! ;)

Today I consumed (according to Nutridairy) 1693 calories, burned 844 in additional activities and was left with 858 to play with, I guess?

I am not going to list all that I ate today because it is a bit daunting, but basically it started off with my beloved green juice (yum, I missed you guys), fruit, fruit and more fruit all day, and ended with a big 32oz jar of green soup for dinner: 1 red bell pepper, 2 small oranges, 1 big bunch of spinach and one whole lemon (without the peel). Very tasty!

Tomorrows goals are to have only sweet juicy fruits in the AM, denser sweet fruits in the afternoon and greens and non-sweet acidic fruits at night. Sounds like a naturally good idea, but somehow banana ice cream keeps getting on the dinner menu? hehe

Day Seven: Week 1 Breakdown

2008-06-01T19:49:00.000-07:00

It's that time again...for Bananas!!

Well, folks week one on the fruit has come and gone. Now on to the next!

But first, here is this weeks body/mind&spirit check-in:

Physically, my body feels great. Less sore after workouts, strong and vibrant, less acidic, and maybe a smidge lighter? You don't drop the pounds as quickly as juice feasting, but that's cool. Elimination is AMAZING when I have mangos, otherwise just ok. Wondering if the bananas clog me up a bit?

Mind: Feels good, but still wondering if this is a short term or long term thing? Definitely feels like a diet rather than a lifestyle, but I think I am still getting used to the simplicity of the foods. Not having to be in the kitchen and spending so much time "cooking" and cleaning has been a much welcomed break, BUT, I do miss being creative in the kitchen. To help, I cooked my sweety a yummy ( didn't taste it, but he claims it was) summer pasta meal with lots of fresh produce and herbs from the green marked.

Moods: fairly even, despite the fact that I was PMSing (and didn't know it!), and have had so much going on (like planning my wedding and working more than full time). The only crankiness I really felt was not having access to "numbing" foods, especially at night, which is my numb-out time of choice. I feel like I am weaning off of drugs --pacing up and down, breaking out into cold sweats and fits of rage! haha Ok, well it wasn't that bad, but close! ;)

I have been reading Dr. Graham's 80/10/10 book and left with a few questions:

1) What does he consider "vigorous exercise" and how much does he recommend one do everyday? I walk at a pretty good clip everyday for miles and rebound every other day, both of which feel good, but I certainly don't break much of a sweat, unless it is really hot out, nor get my heart pumping. Perhaps I need to amp my exercise up a bit? But with what and how much?

2) Should I be tracking my caloric intake everyday? I did that for the first couple of days, but it takes me forever and I am not sure how useful it is. Ideally I want to drop a few pounds, but do I need to spend the time really tracking every calorie? Seems that by eating enough fruits and veggies with little to no fat everyday will do the trick on it's own, or is this wishful thinking?

3) I tend to want to graze on fruit rather than stuff myself silly three times a day. Is it really important that I get more disciplined about "meal" times or is grazing ok? And does it effect health and weight loss?

4) Should I get a consultation with Dr. Graham? Will he be able to offer me more than what is already stated in his book? Just wondering if a personal consultation is worth the big bucks?

Any insights veteran 811rv's can offer would be so appreciated!

Today I had a grazing feast of fruits and veggie soups.

9 Bananas (not all at one time, but in whole, whipped and pudding forms)
6 small nectarines (whole)
32 oz tri-berry smoothie with spirulina (I have a big bottle still in the cupboard, so got to use it up)
1 grapefruit
1 apple
Bowl of a tomato, basil, fennel, ramp and lemon soup (tasty flavors, although it was hard for me not to think it would have been better with a dash of salt and pepper and a drizzle of olive oil, but after a few bites I adjusted--well, sort of ;)

I seem to be averaging right around 2,000 calories a day and within the 80/10/10 paradigm, although I am usually more like 90/5/5.

I seem to prefer to save my fat cards up for a real blow out every few days, rather than having just a little everyday, which feels more like a tease than anything.

I look forward to refining this week and maybe following one of the spring menu's in Dr. Graham's book for fun.

Also had an amazing acupuncture session with the one and only Carrie C., and took a long, but more leisure walk. Got some good sun time in too! Love it.

Day Six: Don't Pass The Salt, Please!

2008-05-31T20:14:00.000-07:00

Well kids, week one of being fruity has blessed me with so many digestive and mental freedoms, but now it is time to refine even more. One thing is certain: Fruit feels great, BUT my little salty meal at night with the greens, taste good, but makes me look and feel SO puffy in the morning. I already have a round shaped face, so actively making it rounder by eating salt is no good. Mentally it has been hard for me not to have a BIG salad with lots of avocado and a savory dressing, because that has been my staple evening meal for almost a year. Habits are hard to kick. So going from that to either just fruit or a smaller salad with a sweeter dressing has just not been the same. But I know I will get used to it with time and learn to love my new, no salt routine. Funny, in the past, I have always blamed the sugar for being the source of all my issues, but now that I have really simplified things, it has become very clear that it is the salt that needs to go. So it will.

I also got my period today and didn't feel a thing! I only knew it was coming because of the date, not because of any uncomfortable PMS symptoms! I have never had painful periods, but the week before my body tells me loud and clear that it is on its way, namely with chocolate cravings, mild low back pain, breakouts, etc. This time, nahdah --or at least very mild. SO that is good news.

Other good news is that I went and say the Sex in the City movie today with a gaggle of girlfriends and have a total blast! The movie was shockingly well done and I can't wait to see it again. Feeling very celebratory, we went out to one of my favorite raw food joints and had scrumptious salads with avocado and some nuts (just like old times). Definitely more fat than necessary, but I have not had any fats for a couple of days now, so I didn't sweat it and just savored every bite knowing I would not have something this decadent in a good while. But I suppose better to over indulge in avocados than going out to a bar and drinking cosmopolitans all night ;)

Today I had:

Upon awakening:
Water, water, water

Breakfast:
1/3 Honey Dew Melon

45 Min Run (not sure how many miles)

Lunch:
1/3 Honey Dew Melon

Snack:
3/4 Cantaloupe

2 hours later

4 sm bananas

Dinner:
Lg raw salad with avocado, almonds and a oily dressing! Ekkk...but so yummy!

One observation to close with is that I tend to have a few dry, itchy scalp, which has been a lot less so this week since being on fruit, however, almost immediately after eating dinner with all the fats, its started itching like mad! Not sure if it is coincidental or not, but I have a feeling that it has to do with the fats...hummm....I will keep a close eye on this!

Day Five: Devils and Angles

2008-05-30T19:37:00.000-07:00

..."should I or shouldn't I" (eat my old comfort foods), was the name of the game this week!
Thankfully, the SHOULD NOTS won!

Surprisingly today I did not feel very hungry. I mean I desired food (fruit), but I didn't feel like overindulging myself, which felt freeing. Funny enough though, when I finally walked in the door, totally wiped (I think I had a wave of detox today), I didn't feel hungry, but I did want to numb myself of all the days events and just "veg" on the couch (but not with veggies!;). This is the only time this week that I have seriously craved some of my old nemesis -- but not for their bursting, addictive flavors and textures, but for their numbing effects. I just wanted to turn off for a while, and no matter how much fruit or salad you eat --it ain't going to do it! So I just breathed through it instead of munching through it grumpily, and sure enough it past...phew! I tell you when those feelings hit, it is all I can do to stay out of cupboard.

It is super challenging have junk food in the house, because even though I don't want them in my system any longer, there they are, calling my name and SO accessible! I have to thank the blogging for keeping me on track and accountable. I actually went to reach for the chips, with that little devil voice on my shoulder saying, "it's been a long week, you deserve it" and then the angel on the other countering, "it's up to you, but remember you have to come clean about this on the blog!" Immediately I shut the cupboard and walked away! Guilt+Blogging is a powerful thing! haha

So for sure I am still feeling very much like this is a short term thing..I haven't fully embraced it yet, but my intention is to make this my life's practice so I just need to be patient and SWEET!

Today I had:

Upon awakening:
Lots of water --feeling super puffy and dehydrated from those darn sun dried tomatoes I had last night, which sadly had sulfates in them! Didn't know till after swallowing :(

Breakie:
4 white peaches

90 min yoga class

Lunch:
Peaches-n-Cream (peaches with bananas--yum!)

1 hour brisk walk to work

Snack:
Peaches-n-Cream
Watermelon chunks
1 Orange

45 min brisk walk home

Dinner:
Granny Smith Apple
4 sm bananas
1 med salad with just a smidgen of oil dressing
1 Orange

PS: Better day without the dried fruit!

Day Four: Feeling Bold & Beautiful

2008-05-29T20:04:00.000-07:00

....awww, these guys are so cute I could gobble them up! And how!

So this may come as a surprise to those of you who know me, but strangely enough I have a bit of a phobia with the phone. I get so anxious over calling people. I say strange, because in all other cases I am a super outgoing, socializing, world traveling kind of gal, but for some reason I hate calling people and am always relieved when it goes to voicemail. Anyways, I am bringing this up because today I didn't have any of those usual trepidations?! I woke up this morning and said to my fiance Michael, " today I am calling your sister, your mother and your uncle (whom I have only met in person once a year ago and have not talked to since)!" I just felt like connecting with those that I normally have such resistance calling up.

I don't know if I have the fruit to thank for this shift or what, but I just am feeling so emotionally free this week. Nothing is really bothering me, or if it does it passes very quickly without much thought.

Living in the heart of NYC, feeling this way is a god sent I tell you! In the past I have often felt that half of my energy and most of my youth gets devoured by the constant negotiation of space, the vicious cycles of fight or flight and keeping anger and frustration at bay.

With all this extra energy, I am spending it in more empowered ways (like calling up the people I love) and feeling radiant at the end of the day rather than defeated. Hence blogging at midnight! LOL

Today I had:

Upon awakening: 7:30am Big ol' glass of water

30 min power rebounding (doing a lot more jogging on it than bouncing which really gets me sweating!)

Breakfast: 10:00am
32 oz "Pretty-n-Pink" makeover: grapefruit, blood oranges, strawberries

20 min walk to job #1

Snack: 1pm
12oz coconut water

20 min walk back from job #1 via trader joe's for bananas only to find every single one of them BRIGHT green :(

Lunch: 2:00pm
Banana and celery shake --added one less stock of celery this time which made it much tastier

1 hour walk to job #2
20 mins eating the sunshine

Snack: 4:45pm
3 cups fresh strawberries

Dinner: 6:15
5 champagne mangoes -- I feel like a wild animal eating these guys!

1 hour walk back from job #2, feeling hungry AGAIN!

2nd Dinner: 9pm
Two monster nori rolls stuffed with fresh spinach, kraut, sunflower sprouts with a tomato (fresh), sundried tomato, basil and parsley dipping sauce. I ate the left over sauce like a soup!
Big handful of sugar snap peas fresh from the green market that tasted like candy.
Last bit of dried fruit in the house: persimmons and raisins --won't be getting more of these bad boys for a good while

I do wonder if taking the subway (my other "phobia") rather than walking to and fro (ends up being btw 5 and 6 miles a day) would make me feel less hungry less often? I am sure it would but I can stomach the thought of an underground commute everyday. So I guess eating wins! Whoohoo

Day Three: Got the Book!

2008-05-28T19:26:00.001-07:00

Yippy! Dr. Graham's book finally came in the mail today. I am so excited to read it and absorb all the knowledge I can about what the heck I am doing here. Thankfully Sarah's blog has been super informative as well as some others, but it is always nice to have a reference in hand and in home.

Today went fairly well, although starting this new lifestyle is like starting anything new, mainly feeling a little disoriented despite its simplicity. I think things would have gone a bit smoother had a planed a little more in advanced. For example, half of my fruit was ripe the other half was not, but I didn't have enough of just one kind of fruit to make it a "meal" which is key for mono mealing. Therefore, today was kind of an all day grazing fest which was ok, but hard to keep track of how much I was actually consuming and whether or not I was feeling hungry or peckish.

I am already anticipating that 50 pounds of exposed fruit in our little Manhattan apt is going to attacked all kinds of unwanted critters and things with wings. It's starting to get hot here so you know what that means. I can put some fruit in the fridge, but things like bananas and such that need extra ripening time might be tricky. Humm...any tips anybody?

Was definitely gassier than I would have liked today. Went to bed that way and woke up that way. I think it is the dried fruit...never has really worked for me digestively speaking. Apples might be the culprit too?

According to my scale (mind you is not digital so the numbers are fuzzy and seem to fluctuate depending on how I place my feet) thus far I have lost 2 lbs!? Could that be right?...we shall see what its mood is like tomorrow.

I really am hoping that Dr. D's book with outline how much I am supposed to consume everyday. So far I am just using my intuition and stomach as guides, but I am sure there is a formula to follow.

I have been getting tons of sun lately and people are shocked when they see how tan I am! Everyone can't believe that I didn't go somewhere tropical! haha I have to say since being raw, my sensitivity to the sun has decreased significantly. In the past my skin used to burn, my eyes used to kill when it was bright out,my energy would feel zapped and my mood would be edgy when hot. Now, i love it and can't get enough!! Thankfully every afternoon I nanny for a 7 year old who loves to play outside, so there I am in the park basking in the sun and getting paid to do it! Now that is a great health plan!

Today I had:

Upon Awakening:
Lots of water

Pre-yoga breakie:
20 oz tri-berry smoothie with sprulina

30 min power walk to a
2 hour advance yoga class

Post-yoga breakie:
32oz banana and celery shake (yum!)

30 min leisure walk home via the farmers market--the strawberries are here!

Lunch:
Nori rolls stuffed with tons of fresh spinach, arugula, sunflower sprouts, curry sauerkraut and spring onions

1 hour power walk to work

Afternoon never ending snacking (whoops!-- although I think this happened because there was no fat with lunch and low-calorie greens so I was hungry most of the afternoon):

2 apples
1 lbs cherries ( first of the season!)
1 nectarine
1 mango
1 navel orange

1 hour power walk home

Dinner:
1 avocado with a little seasalt--ate it right out of the shell
Banana/cinnamon/raisin pudding
More raisin noshing....followed by gas, ekkk!

I wasn't going to have the avocado, but it was ripe and I was hankering for something savory and dense, so I went for it. BUT, I am very proud to say that there were my favorite organic tortillas chips in the house that I could have easily devoured ( and would have 3 days ago as they are my cooked-food-junk-food weakness), but I didn't! WHOOHOO!

Day Two: Keeping it Simple

2008-05-27T19:58:00.001-07:00

....Yum, mango smoothies in my tummy!

WOW, what a day. First off, it was long and full, but despite that, food for once took the back burner and was not the main focus for every waking moment. This is MAJOR for me because I can't think of a day when I was not thinking about my next meal, snack, meal, snack, meal (and don't forget one more mid-night snack;). Don't get me wrong, I definitely had a lot of food today, but I ate because I was hungry NOT because I was hankering for and aggravated by yet another ugly craving. Typically before starting the 80/10/10 diet, I would eat a meal and then immediately start craving something sweet, or savory or crunchy or soft. Now, eating mostly fruit and veggies, my cravings are no longer in the equation--all that is left is pure hunger. And after having a day filled with outdoor time and walking, it felt really GOOD to eat food that refueled me not ruled me. Gosh, I am still in disbelief! haha

The other thing that I tried out today was mono meal eating. Meaning that I tried to stick to one fruit and only one fruit for that specific meal. This was super interesting and really affirmed some things I already knew..go figure!

Here are my findings--
1) Mangoes: taste and digest like magic! Can eat many at one time without gas or bloating. Definite keepers!
2) Oranges: Well, taste great, super hydrating, but my belly felt a little acidic after eating 6 small ones. I think juiced or less in one sitting would have felt better. Digest fine, no gas or bloating.
3) Bananas: If SUPER ripe, or nearly black on the outside they are much easier for my body to handle. In this condition they melt in my mouth are VERY sweet and satisfying. Still not sure how many I can handle in one sitting since they are pretty dense.
4) Leafy Greens and Nori: LOVE IT! So nice after mostly sweet all day. Feels and digests like a charm.
5) Dates: So this is the tough one. These little buggers are definitely a hard call. Today I had several when I felt the need for something heavier and denser, but didn't have any riped bananas on me. But, I have to say that they tasted amazing, but did give me gas almost immediately, made me yawn for the first time all day (5:30pm) and give me a bit of a sugar coma. Oh, and my adrenals starting feeling achy too?! So I think these need to go on the "treat" list and be consumed in smaller numbers. :(

Today I had:

Upon Awakening:
Lots of Agua with all the fixings
16oz Green juice with apple and lemon

Breakfast:
Three large Champagne mangoes

Lunch:
16oz Mango/papaya/OJ and Lime juice Smoothie
An hour later: 6 small blood oranges

Snack:
20 oz coconut water
10 dates
2 ripe bananas

Dinner: Nori Rolls (many) stuffed with fresh spinach (divine!), sauerkraut, spring onions and a tomato/smoked dulse/mango chutney
One small bag of sugar snap peas
One small apple

Exercise: 30 min vigorous rebounding, 6 miles of walking(!)

Other: body brushing and colonic (NO candida! yippy!)

Time for rest and rejuvenation, my friends (although I am so energized still!)

Day One: Feeling Zen On Bananas....

2008-05-26T19:25:00.000-07:00

Back on the blog and the bananas!

Well, I can't help myself. Thanks to my friend Carrie's influence (thanks carrie!:), and my continual desires to find a way to "raise the bar" of my health, I am committing myself to yet again another experiment. This one is based on Dr. Douglas Grahams 80/10/10 theories. Rather than going into great detail about what this is exactly, I will refer you to his website which has it all laid out nicely.

Essentially, I am going to be on a low-fat raw food diet for the next number of days (not committing to any specific amount of time, but shooting for at least a month) as opposed to what I have been doing for almost a year now, a high fat raw food diet. I am curious to see if my stubborn food cravings for cooked foods dissipate or go away completely; if I will drop a few of the pounds that I have gained back from Juice Feasting (ideally about 6 to 8 pounds); and if the candida that keeps showing itself in my colonics also goes away. Of course there are a number of other benefits I hope to reap while on this diet: improved hair and skin, more energy, less gas, better elimination, less emotional yo-yoing, and the list goes on and on.....

Basically this diet is ALL about fruit and greens. Sound ironic considering my goals? Yes. BUT, does that make me totally happy? YES!! The idea of killing yeast by forgoing all my beloved fruits and raw sweets sounded like death to me (especially since summer is here), but according to Dr. D, it is not the sugar that is causing the issue it is the FAT. When we eat a lot of fats with sugars (i.e., nuts with dates), the sugar gets bogged down by the fats in the blood and can not exit the body quickly. Therefore it gets trapped in us for much longer than it should and that is when we get candida, cravings, fogginess, lethargy, etc., etc..

Today I had:
16oz water with lemon, probiotics and aloe vera
24oz green juice with apple (yippy!) and lemon
32 oz blueberry, cherry, apple juice (used as a base), banana, spirulina smoothie
6-8 very ripe bananas (lost count)
1 amazing mango
Nori rolls filled with fresh spinach, spicy sauerkraut, sprouts, tomatoes and a mango/tomato/smoked dulse dressing (no oil or avocado)
1 lg salad with more of the same
10 dates

Exercise: 25 mins rebounding, walking 30 mins

Body brushing, sunbathing

Lots of grazing action today..happens when you are sunbathing on the beach! Everything felt pretty good, although some gassiness post dates. Having a colonic tomorrow, which I think will help move some of the old fermenting junk out.

Considering that fruits are highly cleansing little buggers, I am anticipating having a few transition symptoms initially, so I will have to be patient! :)

Let's see what happens my friends!

Never Ending Transformation....

2008-05-04T18:30:00.000-07:00

Dearest Friends,

Big apologies for going underground and out of site for a while, but certainly not out of spirit! Without going into too much detail, I continue to find my way through this maze of what to consume, what not to consume, how and why my body/mind/heart responds the way it does and how to honor this process even when it is not easy or does not seem to be "working" the way I would like it to.

The best news is that I was gifted a brand new, flaming red, 5200 Vita Mix from my beloved, which has been such a blast and a blessing! Instead of blogging I have been blending one master piece after another.

I send everyone much love and gratitude as I discontinue to blog on this blogsite, but am happy to direct your attention to my other health blog site that I post monthly on called Never Absent. This is the translation of the sanskrit word, Nisprapanchaya, which is part of the Anusara Yoga Invocation.

Please be well and blessings to you on your continual health journey.

xxkyle

Rediscovering the Joy

2008-04-13T12:04:00.000-07:00

...A perfect light raw dinner of Red Chard Nori Garden Wraps filled with carrot and daikon radish ribbons, cucumber slices, slivers of avocado, and fresh cilantro leaves, accompanied by a side sprout, cucumber, red onion and shitaki mushroom salad, with a miso/tamari dressing. So light, yet deeply satisfying and springing with so much joy! All served on our lovely paint speckled table in Michael's art studio. I have finally discovered the key to eating smaller portions is to use the little plates, little forks and savor each bite fully -- there is so much being offered don't miss out by swallowing too fast! :)

Since my last post something profound has shifted. My mind and body are finally starting to seamlessly work sweetly in synergy with one another and my spirit could not be happier! I think it all started to finally fall into alignment at yoga class on Friday (go figure), when the Universe so generously placed me right next my dear friend Judy, who also happens to be the most inspirational Yogini and THE BEST yoga partner/assistant ever. If you are ever feeling uncertain about your capabilities and potential, Judy is the person you want to go to, as she has this amazing way to bring out the best in people.

What made the class just that much more in line with where I am at, the theme was all about finding the Lila or Joy in life by relaxing and trusting the inherent order of nature. Essentially, trust the process, both universal and individual, soften and HAVE FUN! I am finally understanding that that the "rules" of whatever you are doing are not there to control you, but rather, to give you a sturdy foundation from which you can twirl and skip and dance like nobody's watching so that you can truly experience life more blissfully. It is one thing to cognitively understand these simple concepts, but another thing to allow yourself to soften and experience it. A lot of this shift for me is directly link to trusting myself. Why is that so challenging some days and so easy others?

So back to yoga, we were asked to do ALL the variations of headstand with the support of a partner, including the variation when you are balancing solely on your head with hands off the ground and arms at your sides so you look like a pencil standing on end. NOT exactly a "comfort zone" pose. But with the support of Judy (whom I trust completely, it was more myself I wasn't so sure about), I applied the alignment principals and took the deepest breath of my life and just went for it! Not only did I go for it, but I LOVED it and had the biggest smile on my face. The joy was beaming out of me even upside down and with "no hands mom"!

Since then, I have been making the most empowered choices without very much effort or feeling left out or like I was sacrificing the joys of life. I am also worrying or getting less uber stressed out about food and what I am taking in. It seems like the more I let go, the better choices I make, naturally. Again, it's all about trusting myself and not critically comparing the decisions I make today with those I made yesterday...ahhhh

Physically, I am feeling pretty good. Definitely not as good as on my best days juicing, but that is a lot to expect, so I am letting go of comparing the juicy world to the solid world. It was just making me depressed and feel like I was always doing something wrong. I am, however, still experiencing some puffiness in the morning, a few skin breakouts, a little weight gain
(about 3 pounds), some bloating and gas after either eating a little too much or bad combining (of course!). But on the positive side, my colon and elimination systems are working like rock stars, especially since having green smoothies everyday for lunch! I can't recommend them enough.

I have tried to keep one day just juice, but I don't think I am ready for it. My body (well, actually I think it is more my mind) is still not ready to be 100% percent on the juice even if it is just for one day. I am trying to be gentle on myself about that and really honor its request.

To conclude this post I want to give a juicy shout out to my friend Juicy Ben in Ottawa for finishing the entire 92 days of his juice feast!! He has inspired me and so many other people and proven with grace and humor that you can work 2/3 jobs, pay all your bills and live only on juice for 3 months and come out on top!! If you haven't already check out his blog, it's a must read! Hip Hip Horray for Ben!!

xxkyle

Softening and Opening to Grace

2008-04-10T18:53:00.000-07:00

...getting fancy with greens from the earth and sea....

After many days of feeling "out at sea," I can see land and the waves of emotion have calmed. I have discovered that JFing's purpose (for me) was not to solve my problems, but to bring to light all the deeply embedded emotions that have accumulated over my 28 plus years on this earth.

During the JF I was so consumed in the physical act of shopping, juicing, drinking, blogging, pooping, and peeing that not much time was left to just sit with myself and listen to all the profound spiritual awakenings that were occurring simultaneously.

Now that I am only a part time juicer, I can't say that I have more time on my hands to meditate, but clearly the Universe has decided that I am in a place to handle the growing pains and pleasures that come with pushing the boundaries of expansion.

I am so grateful that I have been blessed with this opportunity now -- pre-marriage, pre-kids, pre-adulthood (technically does not start till you are 30 in some schools of thought -- I'll gladly be a kid for two more years;)-- so that when I do get married ( in 4 months!!), have kids (TBD), and become an adult I will know myself that much better, be able to love and give that much more, and be truly ready to live this life for more than just myself.

JFing has humbled me in many ways and given me the opportunity to see clearly what my strengths and weaknesses are and how each are equally an asset in this so called life. After all, without my weak points I would never be able to see my strengths and visa versa. Contrast is a blessing not a curse (usually;)

And now the process of trusting myself begins. Trusting that my body and mind know what to do and when to do it, trusting that being healthy and joyful can be one with each other, trusting that I can let go of my survival mechanisms and that I will still be ok. This is such a life long process that I can't expect to vanish in 30 days, 30 weeks or even 30 years! Embracing not rejecting is the real work for me.

Thankfully I like embracing, that's not work that's fun! Hey, where's Michael?!?! ;)

Thank you all for your loving support. Anytime you need a hug, I am here for you: ready, willing and able!

xxkyle

New Beginnings, Same Life Long Proccess

2008-04-07T18:38:00.000-07:00

I am BACK dear friends!

WARNING: You may want to get a juice, go the bathroom, or get a snack-- this is a weeks worth of insights and reflections!

So sorry for the disappearance act kids, but sometimes one has to take time to just be with oneself in order to sort out all that has been stirred up, shuffled around, reawakened and discovered, rejected and then lovingly embraced.

Since eating solid foods again, I feel like I have gone to the moon and back in terms of the emotional and physical ups and downs I have endured.

Essentially, I unfairly have put juice on a throne and convinced myself that by doing a long term feast it would magically "solve all my problems" and I would be trouble free at the "end" of this long hard journey. Well, folks, as much good as it did do, it certainly did not solve all of my problems and all last week I was first very angry at myself and could not stop blaming myself for not "sticking" the landing during my transition, which then spun into complete confusion with what to eat, how to eat and when to eat.

I felt like I was in the middle of a giant million piece puzzle completely overwhelmed with what goes where and what fits with what. Very overwhelming and troubling.

So I had this melt down, which clearly need to happen so that I could get back up and ask for help to gain some perspective.

I am so grateful to my fellow feasters and friends/family for giving me great advise and telling me your human and it is OK not to be perfect! It is ok to enjoy life and enjoy food and enjoy being who you are. Seems easy enough but this is so hard for me...especially in the nutrition realm.

The biggest shift happened just yesterday, when everything that I have been noticing about myself was affirmed by my friend and the very person who inspired me to do this in the first place: Carrie! For those who have not check out her blog yet, GO NOW it is amazing!!

So Carrie is an amazing Acupuncturist (among other things), so I decided it was time for me to try some of her magic out (which I highly recommend you do too!). Shockingly, I have never had acupuncture before and wasn't entirely sure specifically what I was going for, but the more I thought about it and talked to Carrie it became very clear. But first, let me go back a bit.

So many of you have commented on how much my body changed over the course of the feast and the most shocking difference to me was my face. I have always had puffy, water retention and what only can be described as stuck/stagnant energy from my throat up. JFing cleared all that retention out of my face and I could feel energy flowing freely threw that area. But now that I am eating again, it is slowly coming back and I am feeling that foggy, puffy, stuck feeling again.

Carrie explained to me that everything I was describing was linked to my spleen. (She also did a number of other things to determine this including check my pulses and tongue). My spleen I thought? Who would have guessed that this little, very underrated and talked about organ located smack in the middle of some better known power houses like the liver, pancreas and kidneys would be feeling neglected and in need of some serious TLC?

According to Chinese medicine the spleen is considered the "transformer" organ -- one that takes everything including thoughts, food, air, impressions, etc., that comes into our bodies and turns it into something we can actually use ( wisdom, energy).

See I always thought that I had an absorption problem, because it often feels like no matter how "good" or "healthy" I am, my body does not always feel like it is getting the nutrients it needs. But really that is just a symptom of a deeper issue -- transformation. If the spleen is weak and can't transform something into something my body can use, then of course I am not absorbing properly. So it's all connected, of course.

Speaking of which -- bare with me(!)-- the other interesting tidbit about a weak spleen is that it cannot tolerate much sweet in any form. This is another thing I have known about myself but kind of chosen to ignore, especially since being raw because I LOVE fruit, dates, figs, raisins, cookies, cakes, you name it. The spleen does need, however, a very tiny amount of sweet, but in the form of carrots, yams, sweet potatoes, squashes, parsnips, brown rice, quinoa and other whole grains, not concentrated sugars (dried fruit), fruit sugars or sweeteners.

Of course on the juice feast I so very much looked forward to my fruit juices and probably drank: 3 grapefruit, 4 oranges, 6 to 12 apples (depending), a whole small watermelon or pineapple, 4 pears, and 3 kiwis a day!! That is a lot of fruit! Oh, and what about all my coconut water??

Before the feast I would chow down on bags of figs, dates and raisins, which is a ton of concentrated sugars; would not hesitate to indulge in raw treats with tons of agave or raw honey in them and what about the 70 percent or higher chocolate, ahem?? POOR SPLEEN!

Also a weak spleen needs warm, cooked foods and does not like anything too cold or raw. YIKES! So interesting because I actually don't like cold things at all, and have had a hard time with the raw diet this way, because in order for things to warm up to room temp it can take about an hour and often I don't have the foresight or patience to wait that long. This has also lead to cooked food cravings.

Apparently all the yellow vegetables are great for the spleen including cooked root veggies that have some sweetness in them but less than fruit, such as carrots (in moderation), yams, sweet potatoes, squashes as well as whole grains, which I have to say I love and truly miss especially during the winter months.

The spleen also relates to "mother" and relationships to the mother, which is interesting because I definitely have some unresolved issues with my mom that need to be addressed (ughh). The spleen also likes touch, stretching and light exercise. I think that means MORE massages (are you reading this Michael? ;), but to pipe down a bit with the amount of exercise and yoga I do on a daily basis (too much of a good thing).

Carrie lovingly tapped several tiny tiny needles into the meridian points that corresponded to the spleen, kidneys (dark circles under my eyes), and Qi/Yin energy. She also did some points that stopped any bleeding ( we discovered together that the Cats Claw tincture I was putting in my juice was literally clawing my colon and causing some internal bleeding which I was seeing in my colonics and stools at home.), and draw energy up into my head and face. She also put an infrared heating lamp over my middle section which was so soothing and healing.

I felt completely amazing after the session. My bloated face and stomach had subsided substantially and I felt clear and energized yet grounded and at peace with myself and the world.

And this is why I have the courage and enthusiasm to write this post today! Before my treatment I just wanted to hide because I was so ashamed at myself for still feeling confused, making bad food choices and not knowing which puzzle piece fit where in the bigger picture of things. Now I have a focus and a mission: heal my spleen by drinking more spleen friendly juices, really be devoted to following the food combining principals, be very moderate with sugars of all sorts and even cut out fruit entirely for a couple of days and start incorporating small amount of cooked root veggies and grains into my diet at night. I think this is going to help me be a little less ridged, more grounded and be sweeter to myself with out having to actually eat sweets! The sweet qualities come in so many forms and the forms I have been choosing in the past have been holding me back from my true transforming super powers.

Today I had:

AM:

32 oz: water, probiotic, lemon, cayenne pepper, zeolite
2 oz: Aloe vera juice mixed with 8 oz water ( to sooth the belly)
4 Internal movement formula capsules

Lunch:
24 oz carrot, daikon radish, celery, summer squash
24oz cucumber, parsley, celery
32 oz Italian Stallion
24oz Green Lemonade with just one tiny apple (just ONE!)

4pm:

Cucumber, tomato, smoked apple dulse, avocado salad with Nama Shoyu (raw soy-sauce), and raw apple cider vinegar over Mache greens, yum!

8:30pm:

Steamed root vegetable platter over 1/4 cup quinoa with miso/tamari/hempseed oil dressing --deeply satisfying!

10pm:

32 oz: water, probiotic, lemon, cayenne pepper, zeolite
12 oz: Slippery Elm tea (good for soothing a clawed tummy)

NO SWEETS! Wow, this may be a first, EVER!

Other life practices I did today included:

Body/tongue brushing and scraping
Contrast Shower
Rebounding, 30 mins
Light yoga stretches at home
Meditation/Pranayama
Light Walking, 1 hr
Shoulder and neck massage from Michael (now we're talking!;)

So they moral of the story (or epic) is ask for what you need, listen to your intuition and don't place all your eggs in one basket and give it too much power. All the power you need you already have and it is within oneself.

Be flexible and open to change as it occurs because it will and look at your mistakes as blessings and opportunities for growth.

And most importantly try to see and feel the joy in this often fractured life. Within the uniqueness of each of us lies our true beauty. If we were all the same, how boring this world would be. Diversity is a wonderful thing!

Be well and more transformational stories soon.

xxkyle

Confessions

2008-04-02T19:47:00.000-07:00

....hey, juicing is the cheapest face lift in town!
Sleep: 1:30pm-8:30am--Up late with the runs..those darn prunes work too well!
Hot Tea: 16oz Peppermint
Skin brushing/tongue scraping Hot/cold contrasting shower
Juice: 32ounces "Summer Rain" -- watermelon, cucumber, lime
Juice: 32 ounces "Green Lemonade" -- romaine, celery, kale, cucumber, ginger, lime, zeolite
Juice: 32 ounces "Pretty in Pink" --tangelo, blood orange, pink grapefruit with liquid C, Vitamin D3 and MSM
Walk: 3 miles
Feast Breaker: 10 soaked prunes, with prune water (brunch) and 10 soaked prunes with prune water (late afternoon); in between, 12 oz miso soup (broth only) and a bunch of 'bitesize' raw flaxseed crackers (dinner).

Ok, ok, I know you are thinking what the heck is she doing eating miso and flax, isn't fresh fruit the next step? Well, when I woke up this morning I had know idea this was going to happen either. My intention was to do prunes in the morning and then energy soup in the afternoon. But, I just could not get organized enough to get out of the house and shop for all the energy juice ingredient, get home, make it and get to work on time, so that did not happen. Then I ate the prunes and immediately got stabbing pains in my tummy followed by the runs and a sugar hangover feeling. I just laid on our sofa with my eyes close and did some deep breathing, desperately trying to get oxygen to my brain.

I finally mustered up the energy to get off my arse and briskly walk to the upper east side. At first they fresh air and the sun on my face felt great. I started to feel better and my head got clearer, but then about half way there my blood sugar dropped and the low sugar shakes came on strong. I felt so out of myself! I had a green juice in my bag but for some reason I just couldn't stomach the thought of greens. The only thing that sounded appealing to me was salt or something salty.

So I made it to a health food store, looked at the fresh fruit (which technically I am supposed to be eating now ) and thought I was going to gag (please, no more sugar of any kind!). However, my eye keened in on the miso soup at the hot buffet and my body perked up at the thought of a warm, salty, seaweedy broth. Then, (this is when being in transition, hungry and in a health food store gets dangerous!) I passed by the raw snack section (which funny enough looked so unappealing to me while JFing) and noticed these bite size dehydrated flaxseed "chips." I thought to myself, well, maybe I should get these just in case. At that point I so desperately need salt in my body (or so it felt) that I was worried I was going to chow down on a whole bag of Tostitos corn chips that I knew were easy access at my job. So at least having a raw backup plan, even though they were off limits for another couple of days, made me feel prepared for an emergency snack attack.

Well, I had the miso broth, which was divine, but not quite salty enough to appease my craving, so yup, I went for the flax chips, and how! One went in and the crunchy salty nuttiness was so divine, another and another and another flew into my mouth without shame or guilt. I took my time and chewed very well, till each chip was a mushy mass to help my poor body digest better, but I have to tell you it really wanted those chips! I definitely felt slightly out of control, a bit over stuffed, and very comforted by the food, but, my body responded very well and seemed to want it.

So, that's my confession. I did have the prunes later and again the stabbing pains were not nearly as bad as before? Not sure if the other food helped stretch my stomach out a bit or buffer the fruit, but whatever it was it was nice not to be in such discomfort. Let's see how I look and feel tomorrow! I might regret all of this then, yikes!

Yesterday I mentioned that slow transitions are really hard for me, and clearly that still seems to be my work -- really sticking to the process and not losing focus. I believe that I did in many ways what I needed to do to stabilize my blood sugar and my body, but there were also several ways I probably could have prevented this from happening in the first place: Mistake #1 I had a fruit juice in the morning followed by the prunes and not enough water. Way too many sugars with no greens to neutralize them or water to hydrate me. Mistake #2 Before succumbing to the Miso soup, I should have forced myself to have some water and green juice first and then gone for the soup if those two things didn't work. Mistake #3 Been more organized in the first place and had the energy soup or green smoothie ingredients on hand at home. Had that been in the equation I am sure at least the flax crackers would not have been necessary.

So fellow juicers out there about to transition back to solid foods, do take note!! Learn from my mistakes and keep up with your greens because the prunes are so high in sugars and you need to eat so many of them that your blood sugars will get really whacked out and it may throw you into a tail spin.

Tomorrow I have a clear plan of action: ALL GREENS, with maybe a little fresh fruit later in the day. But no prunes or fruit juices, just can't seem to handle them right now. And a colonic to pump today's little binge out.

So those are my confessions dear friends. Sorry if my shaking landing into the solid food world has disappoint you. Funny when I was eating the flaxseed chips, they only tinge of guilt I felt was towards my audience. I was thinking, oh no, I have to confess what I am doing! haha

But, I feel hungry like a bear right now and totally empathize with former JFers ravenous appetites post juice feast. I feel like my digestion has been reawakened after a long hibernation and it is HUNGRY! Four means to get your greens here I come!

xxkyle

Belly Talk

2008-04-01T21:56:00.000-07:00

...Can you tell which picture is before and which is after? Still working on a front shot. Maybe tomorrow?
Sleep: 11: 30pm-7:00am
Hot Tea: 16oz Peppermint
Skin brushing/tongue scraping Hot/cold contrasting shower
Juice: 32ounces "Summer Rain" -- watermelon, kiwi, lime
Juice: 64 ounces "Green Lemonade" -- romaine, celery, kale, cucumber, ginger, lime, zeolite
Juice: 32 ounces "Pretty in Pink" --tangelo, blood orange, pink grapefruit with liquid C, Vitamin D3 and MSM
Colonic: Really intense session today. Not much was coming out for the longest time yet I felt like I had to poop SOOO badly- it was almost torturous, and then bam, cellular gasses moved and the cecum poured for what seemed like hours. Thank goodness!! But I was pretty wiped afterwards so instead of walking uptown I took the bus.
Walk: 3 miles --Still got some movement in today! ;)
Feast Breaker: 8 ounces soaked prunes, with prune water--YUM! ;)

So I finally did it kids, I went for the prunes, and how! My goodness I had no idea it would be so hard! It wasn't that I minded the taste of the prunes or the texture of them being soggy and mushy, but I was SO full after about three and I had about 14 more to go! I just couldn't do it in one stretch. But after an hour break I was able to get the second half down. I have to say that full, overstuffed, bloated feeling brought me back to how I used to always feel after eating a meal. So that was not so nice, but I understand the point of why we are asked to eat so many. Basically the prunes are a natural laxative that stimulate the peristaltic wave of the colon, or in other words make you poop. Well, I ate all these prunes under the impression it would take about 3-6 hours to see any bowel response, well, let me tell you, I was on the toilet in less than 20 mins, had to keep getting back on till 1am! And this is AFTER having an amazing colonic. I tell you kids, you're never empty till you're six feet under and then some! haha

So chewing and swallowing actually was not as foreign as I thought it would be. I guess because the prunes were so soft and basically fell apart in my mouth on their own, there was really little resistance against my teeth. However, I was highly aware of the tougher bits and took my time masticating them to a mushy pulp. One of the habits I am trying to break and become more conscious of is chewing, breathing and savoring each bite. In the past, I would shovel food in so quick, it would go down half chewed and I would catch myself holding my breath when eating. At the end of the meal, I would feel like I missed the entire experience, not even really tasting what I had eaten and feeling unfulfilled even though I was full. Consequently I would eat more till my taste buds were satisfied and my belly was stuffed and I felt sick. Yuck, what a terrible cycle.

I have to say I felt a lot better yesterday eating that small amount of vibrant green energy soup, than I did today over stuffing myself with prunes. This is a good thing, because in the past I was not satisfied till I was overstuffed. So that seems to have shifted! :)

I think tomorrow I am going to try one round of prunes instead of two (which is suggested), and one glass of energy soup in the afternoon. The sugars in the prunes also made it hard for me to sleep, even though my mind crashed hard from the sugar rush.

Well, so far I can't say that transitioning back to solids has been very nice, but I know that this is part of the process and I certainly don't want to rush into the denser foods too fast. It's funny how transitioning for me is harder than just juicing. I definitely feel more comfortable with the extremes. So this slow processes of bringing food back in and savoring the moment is a good exercise for me.

Prune on!
xxkyle

Feast Breaking -- well, sort of!

2008-03-31T18:55:00.000-07:00

...More and More [juice] the Universe says!
Sleep: 11: 00pm-6:30am
Hot Tea: 16oz Peppermint
Skin brushing/tongue scraping Hot/cold contrasting shower
Juice: 32ounces "The Killer XXX"-- Apple, EXTRA ginger, EXTRA cayenne pepper!
Juice: 64 ounces "Green Lemonade" -- romaine, celery, kale, cucumber, ginger, lime, zeolite
Juice: 32 ounces "Pretty in Pink" --tangelo, blood orange, pink grapefruit with liquid C, Vitamin D3 and MSM
Feast Breaker: 2 tablespoons "energy soup" from The Ann Wigmore's Institute -- I bet you weren't expecting since I promised you prunes today.

Well, my intention was to go for the soaked prunes, but as the day went on I got colder and colder feet and super fearful about breaking the feast. I have felt SOOO good these last couple of days that I just did not want to end it yet. I also was having some anxiety about eating foods again and the effects they will have on me. So after a very "everything is going right" day on juices I went to a lecture given by Ann Wigmore's senior instructors from her healing institute in Puerto Rico. I have always wanted to go there and thought this would be a good opportunity to see what the teachers are like. Ann Wigmore, for those of you new to the name, is the mother of the living foods movement who healed herself and thousands of others with live, raw foods.

Her signature "dish" is also her prescription to anyone trying to heal, prevent or maintain themselves is called "energy soup." Essentially it is a blended concoction of fibrous veggies, micro leafy greens, mixed with a touch of rejuvelac, or fermented wheat berry water (full of natural probiotics and digestive enzymes), a little avocado, sprouts and the secret and most delicious ingredient, dulse (seaweed), unrinsed so that the natural sea salts season the soup.

Going into the lecture I had know idea that they were going to demo how to properly make this soup and then hand out little samples of it for us to try. At first I felt trepidation about whether or not to take some. One the one hand I really wanted to try it just to see what it was like, but then again I felt so good juicing and wasn't 100 percent sure I was going to break the feast today. And if I was to break it then I am supposed to be eating prunes.

Then I had a moment of clarity! Why not have this pure, vibrant fibrous energy soup in the presents of healing people to break my feast instead of at home with some ugly bloated prunes? So I did it- I took a dixie cup, opened my mouth and chewed the already masticated savory bright green soup. WOW, what flavor it had! It was the most delicious thing ever! Everyone around me was making funny grossed out faces, but my taste buds were so deeply satisfied and ecstatic by the nutty, salty, crunchy (despite the fact that it was pureed it still seemed crunchy to my teeth), thick yumminess to land on their playing field. Had I been eating as normal and given the same soup, I would have reacted very disappointed as most of the crowd did, but not after juicing for 30 days, no way, bring it on!! But funny enough because it was so deeply satisfying and nutrient dense, 2 tablespoons of the stuff left me feeling totally content and full! This is exciting news for a chronic over eater!

After that experience, all my fears about eating melted away. I survived, feel great and ready to enter the solid (or at least blended) food world again.

So with a full, happy tummy, I walked home with an extra skip in my step loving life even more and so happy that the universe present the most perfect and optimal way for me to break my feast.

But, is it also telling me it's time to invest in a VitaMix and head down to Puerto Rico? Stay tuned to find out! LOL

xxkyle

Juice Feast Day: 30!!!!!

2008-03-30T19:25:00.000-07:00

...Queen Me!!! I wanted to post my before and after shots but our camera battery died...needs more juice! ;)
Sleep: 11: 30pm-7:30am
Hot Tea: 16oz Peppermint
Skin brushing/tongue scraping Hot/cold contrasting shower
Juice: 32ounces "The Killer Pineapple"-- Pineapple, EXTRA ginger, EXTRA cayenne pepper! This is a nice variation to apple. I also diluted it with water so because it sure is sweet!
Juice: 64 ounces "Green Lemonade" -- romaine, celery, kale, cucumber, ginger, lime, zeolite
Juice: 32 ounces "Pretty in Pink" --tangelo, blood orange, pink grapefruit with liquid C, Vitamin
D3 and MSM
Juice: 16 ounces Apple Cider- unpasteurized, farm fresh goodness from the green market
Walking: 2 miles
Celebratory Outing: It took our friends from Europe to get us to leave the city! Not that we don't want to-- believe me it is always on our minds-- but there is something about NYC that keeps you sucked in and always too busy to make it happen. But guest are a great excuse to go off your usual course and be adventurous. So a packed up my juices and we took the train along the beautiful Hudson River up to Dia: Beacon, a little art oasis in upstate NY. This place is AMAZING! Everything from the space, the art, the beautiful sunny warm day, the fresh air and the company of good friends made my last day of Juice Feasting so magical. It was the soul candy at the end of a long journey.

So I did it!! I set a goal and I saw it through from start to finish, just as I had manifested. I feel so proud of myself for sitting with the hard moments and finding my breath for support, reaching out to others when I needed their love, and staying true to my original intentions.

There were days when JFing felt equivalent to climbing Mt. Everest and there MORE days when it felt like getting to the top and enjoying the view.

For sure this process was more emotionally transformative than physically. Certainly things changed and shifted for me physically, but some how that part does not seem nearly as significant. I suppose if I came into the feast with a specific physical issue I was trying to cure, than I would have found that more transformative, but the way my mind has shifted is RADICAL. The clarity I have received is such a gift. Having to just be with your hardships for a significant amount of time is humbling, enlightening and life changing. I now understand the powers of the mind, but more importantly the SUPER powers of the heart. The heart can over come anything if you give it the time and space to do so. Pausing, breathing, responding before reacting is my recipe for over coming hardships and making empowering decisions for myself.

So let's now look at the numbers and results of my physical-self. Here are my JFing stats:

Days juicing: 30
Starting height: 5' 7.5"
Ending height: 5' 9 --haha, just kidding!
Starting weight: 134
Ending weight: a very healthy looking 118--lost only body fat no muscle tone or strength thanks to all my walking, rebounding and yoga, yeah!
Skin: Much more even complexion, with just a few recent breakouts, probably due to another round of cleansing. No longer little bumps on upper thighs, arms or back.
Hair: As curly and thick as ever, but seems stronger
Nails: VERY strong -- no breaking or zinc deposits (those little white spots)
Colon: I continue to have big releases on the table along with cellular gases. These results I am sure would have continued no matter how long I JFed for. I did 3 colonics a week with some enemas in between. Zero noxious gas of any time, some rumbling in my tummy ever so often, but no discomforts to really speak of. I did feel some nausea in the beginning of my feast due to my liver detoxing, but that passed with the bile in the second week.
Nose: Lots of mucus week two and three, but after stopping all bee pollen it really subsided.
Moods: Much more stable, less irritability and acidic responses, more patients with self and others, more gratitude towards life and people
Energy: Mostly up, up, up and really getting better the longer I juice. Although I have to say, I feel like my sleeping clock has really regulated itself. I naturally want to sleep between 11 and midnight and get up around 7:30. Feels perfect for me! When on raw foods, I want to stay up till 2 or 3 in the morning, so it feels good to be off that cycle.
Cravings: Well, that kind of varied from day to day. When I was feeling really cold week 1-3 I wanted warm things and warm foods looked much better than raw. So I drank a lot of hot tea. But now that it is getting warmer out raw is looking more appealing -- mainly fruit and salads. I really have not been craving sweets, which is refreshing!!
Revelations: Emotions, feelings, cravings, urges WILL PASS if you just let them go! They are nothing unless you give them power and will go away if you just sit with it for a few long minutes. Now I know I have the capacity to do that, where as before I was too anxious and impulsive ( slave to my mind not my heart) to be with the uncomfortableness. Now I am not scared!

I want to end this post by saying thank you thank you thank you to all of you who have been following my journey, sharing your love and support and sending me all your "good vibes." I could not have done this without feeling like I had you all there to catch me and lift me up to my full potential. I want to particularly thank Carrie and Raw B for inspiring me to join the JFing band wagon and giving me my initial "consultation" and starting wisdom. I also want to acknowledge David and Katrina, the most inspiring juicy couple, for creating all of this and sending me love messages when I needed them the most! Juicy Ben for being such a rockin juicer and also being such a source of inspiration ( and still is! Go Ben GO!!!). Susan, my beautiful co-worker and friend for being such a rock and my #1 fan, who is now going on her third week of JFing, (yeah!). My family for not understanding me all the time and as a result pushed me to get clearer on what I do believe in (reverse psychology!). And last but not least my beloved Michael for ALWAYS supporting me know matter what wacky thing I come up with next and for enduring this last 30 days with me. You have made a lot of sacrifices for me to do this and I love you to death. Hey, do you still want to marry me?? hehe

Juice on my fellow Juciers! Even though I am going for the prunes tomorrow, I am still with you on this life long journey!!

Also, I will continue to blog for a good while on how transitioning into solid food world goes. I am curious too!

All love and light,
Kyle

Juice Feast: Day 28&29

2008-03-29T19:06:00.000-07:00

...posing with our dear Swedish friends when we were in Stockholm a year ago..now they are here visiting us!
Sleep: 11: 00pm-6:30am
Hot Tea: 16oz Peppermint
Skin brushing/tongue scraping Hot/cold contrasting shower
Juice: 64ounces "The Killer Pineapple"-- Pineapple, EXTRA ginger, EXTRA cayenne pepper! This is a nice variation to apple. I also diluted it with water so because it sure is sweet!
Juice: 64 ounces "Green Lemonade" -- romaine, celery, kale, cucumber, ginger, lime, zeolite
Juice: 32 ounces "Pretty in Pink" --tangelo, blood orange, pink grapefruit with liquid C, Vitamin D3 and MSM
Walking: 2 miles
Colonic: Still lots of cellular gases, but equally as much cecum action going on. Whoohoo!
Art Therapy: Some great friends of ours from Stockholm are in town so we hit the Chelsea gallery's and saw some fantastic art and ran into other old friends. Even in a huge city like NYC, it's not uncommon to bump into someone you know. I love it.

Sorry for lumping yesterday and today together. With our friends in town, I have been going out more than I normally do and with today being a working day for me I didn't want to sacrifice beauty sleep for blogging -- how vain is that! haha

Note that I am just listing today's juices, because yesterdays were just about the same.

Of course, now that the JF is ending for me I feel fantastic and like I could really do the entire 92! As appealing as that sounds right now, I know Michael is excited for me to share meals with him again, and I am really itchy and excited to make time and space for other projects. So I am going for the prunes starting Monday morning. It blows my mind that a month has already passed! Feels like just yesterday I was writing my first entry: "twas the night before juice feasting.." sighhhhh

I am going to save my before and after photos and comments for tomorrows post, but I am thinking about making this 30 day JF an annual event. It just seems like such a good way to "end the year" and start the new fresh, alive and enthused about life, food, projects, relationships.

The vibrancy one receives from being mineralized from cell to cell transcends all aspects of life.

In the process of replacing my old habit ridden cells with the new juicy ones, so much has had to surface. For example, when firery emotions like anger and frustration towards my family and friends comes up, I have had the ability to turn the focus back on me and ask myself: Why am I feeling this way? Am I frustrated with them or myself? Am I just projecting? Are these feelings assumptions or reality? Most of the time when turning the questions back on me I was able to see more clearly that I truly am just projecting my own inner conflicts out onto them. It is so easy to blame others for my s%#t! I can't change other people's minds, nor is it my responsibility or place to do that, but I certainly can shift and transform mine.

So that is what I have been doing. By finding more compassion for myself I have been able to heal my relationships with family and friends without actually engaging them in the process. SO empowering!! I wonder if they feel it? humm....;)

I can't begin to describe the joy and gratitude I feel towards life and everyone in it right now. I feel like I have tapped into my inner SuperJuicyWoman powers! haha

Juice Feast: Day 27

2008-03-27T14:35:00.000-07:00

...getting ready to jump into new waters
Sleep: 11: 15pm-7:00am
Hot Tea: 16oz Roasted Dandelion Root -- great for the liver
Skin brushing/tongue scraping Hot/cold contrasting shower
Juice: 64ounces "South of the Border"-- watermelon, kiwi, pear, cilantro, lime, ginger and cayenne pepper! WOW, this is a keeper --love the sweet, spicy tango on my tongue...rarrr
Juice: 32 oz "Bleeding Hearts" --beet, carrot, kale, romaine, celery, ginger, lime
Juice: 32 ounces "Green Lemonade" -- romaine, celery, kale, cucumber, ginger, lime, zeolite
Juice: 32 ounces "Pretty in Pink" --tangelo, blood orange, pink grapefruit with liquid C, Vitamin D3 and MSM
Walking: 2 miles -- wasn't feeling up to more
Colonic: I can't believe how much my cells are decompressing and going back to their optimal homeostasis. All the of the gases that have built up over time due to bad eating habits have been awakened and now are being dumped (quickly) into my cecum (kind of like a garbage can in the Lg. Intestine) and screaming to be released. So that I did, phew!

One of the fears I have faced while JFing is admitting my vulnerabilities to myself and then exposing them for all the world to see through this blog. I have found this to be a very humbling yet rewarding experience.

As a nutritionist, it was really hard for me to "come out of the closet" and express my less than prefect eating habits. When I was studying nutrition with my Ayurvedic teachers many years back, one of the things that disturbed me was that they didn't put much of their teachings into practice. For hours they would lecture on mindful food combing, not eating too much or too late at night, and treating your body like a temple not a trash can. But, once class was over, very little would translate into reality and their health suffered.

As much as I wanted to be true to myself and my clients, it has always been a struggle to live by what I believe in. The push and pull of life has been a stronger force than my own inner strength, which over time has lead to a vicious cycle of food abuses. Food became a distraction from really facing my "stuff" and my fears, and yet I didn't want anyone to know, especially my clients. I was starting to feel like I had built a prison around myself.

So JFing and blogging about my process and experience has been incredibly liberating for me. It has kept me "honest" and accountable, which is exactly the structure I needed to be successful. I have discovered through JFing that often my bad habits would rear their heads when I was bored and wanted to be distracted. Now there is no nagging reason to get up after every email to find a "snack" in the cupboard or pop another piece of chocolate in my month. I am perfectly content staying focused on other things.

But I am far from "perfect" nor strive to be a goody-goody. My goal is to enjoy things in their rightful time and place. Sweets have their appropriate moments as do snacks and a glass of wine. But I want indulging be the exception and not the rule -- something to celebrate and savor among the company of friends, not "cheating" and feeling guilt and shame as I shove something into my mouth each night after a long days work. That is not a treat, it's a punishment.

Since JFing, I feel like what I long for has been awakened and totally accessible! Now, I know what it feels like to be on the other side looking in not out.

Juice Feast: Day 26~

2008-03-26T17:30:00.000-07:00

Sleep: 12:15pm-7:00am
Skin brushing/tongue scraping Hot/cold contrasting shower
Juice: 32ounces "Sweet Tarts"-- pear, cucumber, kiwi, apple, lime, cilantro, mint
Juice: 32 oz "Green Lemonade" -- romaine, kale, celery, apple, cuke, ginger, lemon, pure synergy, zeolite, salt
Juice: 52 ounces "Pretty in Pink" --tangelo, blood orange, pink grapefruit with liquid C, Vitamin D3 and MSM
Hot Tea with 3 tsp of honey on the side- Ughhh, not a good idea kids. After the third tsp, which I totally didn't need, my head was swimming and achy and I could feel the low blood sugar shakes coming on. Good reminder of my original intention with all this --to not over due the sugar in all its various forms.
Walking: 4 miles
Body Work: Almost two hours of Rolfing today. My therapist couldn't believe how different my body was (he hasn't seen me in two weeks and a lot has changed) and how well it responded to all the structural and muscle work. (When you are detoxing, your body becomes incredible sensitive and responsive to EVERYTHING) Today we focused on the inseams of the feet and legs as well as the pelvic floor. The title of the session was "Control and Surrender." Many memories and emotions were stirred up as he manipulated thick layers of fascia in my calves and thighs and gently coaxed all my lower-body diaphragms (arches, knees, pelvis and abdomen) to release and soften.

After my bodywork session, I really wanted to go home and take a nap and let my body rest, absorb and assimilate all that that it had experienced, but I had to go right up town to my nanny job. So I felt pretty low-energy/enthusiasm for the rest of the afternoon, and in attempt to give myself a little energy boost, what did I do, but go straight to my old habit, sugar--well, honey in this case (a little is considered ok while JFing). However, this flowing, liquid gold is not to be abused. The first tsp tasted so amazing that I took another and then another and then CRASH --tired (more so than the first time) and shaky. So, while I feel so much stronger within myself, there is still work to be done. But that's ok. I realize that finding what is balance for me is a life long practice. Sometimes I have to push my boundary in order to remember where the middle is again. But, I assure you I won't be doing it again tomorrow ;)

So I have been feeling both excited and anxious about coming off this feast. In someways having completed 30 days (almost) seems like a HUGE feat and I feel completely in awe that I had the discipline, dedication and desire (all the d's) to do it. In other ways, I feel like there is still so much to reveal and unearth that has yet to be addressed, which makes me feel like I should keep feasting.

But the reality is is that I don't really plan to stop. JFing is just an accelerated and intensified version of what I have already been doing everyday prior for the last year, and I plan to keep lots of juiciness in my life-- well, forever! Why would I ever want to stop putting pure life force into my body?

Today when I was getting blockages in my body worked out, so much emotionally was surfacing simultaneously. I was thinking about how there is no way even 5 years ago I would have been able to do this (both Rolfing and JFing). Certainly I thought that detoxing, rolfing, meditating, etc., was all great -- but for everyone else, not for me. I was scared to face myself, my potential, my success, my fears and the unknown. Who would I be and how would I function in this world if I let all my safe guards go? Isn't life so much easier when we have something distracting us from what we truly desire? Isn't it so much easier to just say, as you eat ANOTHER cookie, "screw it" and "screw the world"?

This was the stuck, miserable place I was in before juice feasting. A lot was going right, but a lot, particularly behind the sense where totally out of control and leaving me feeling defeated day in and day out.

So to make a long, epic saga short, this is why I am doing this, because I refuse to live my life in the rut of my own existence. I want to feel free, at peace, in my body, in my heart and honor myself 100% of the time. And when I don't-- like in the case of the honey today-- that's ok, it's just a reminder or an awakening of sorts that I have choice and can choose my path in every moment. I am no longer afraid to just sit and NOT react to an intense craving or dis-empowering thought.

I already feel like I just made it to the top of Mt. Everest and am now looking out over the beautiful vista of what life really has to offer me-- anything I want it to!

Now, for these last few days, I am going to just bask in the joy and beauty of this journey as it continues to bloom.

xxkyle

Juice Feast: Day Twentyfive

2008-03-25T20:38:00.000-07:00

....continually pumping my heart towards the light.
Sleep: 10:45pm-8:00am
Skin brushing/tongue scraping Hot/cold contrasting shower
Juice: 32ounces "Sweet Tarts"-- pear, cucumber, kiwi, apple, lime, cilantro --still my favorite yet!
Juice: 32 oz "Green Lemonade" -- romaine, kale, celery, apple, cuke, ginger, lemon, pure synergy, zeolite, salt
Juice: 32 ounces "Italian Stallion" -- tomato, collard greens, carrot, basil, cuke, celery, romaine, lemon, 1 Tbsp hemp seed oil, liquid kelp drops (iodine), salt, cayenne, paprika
Juice: 32 ounces "Pretty in Pink" --tangelo, blood orange, pink grapefruit with liquid C, Vitamin D3 and MSM
Walking: 6 miles
Colonic: After many months of just treating myself, I was treated to getting a session by fellow practitioner and juicer "juicy goosey." Boy did she clean house!
Sunkissed: A delicious 45 mins today -- glow, glow, glow

Gosh, I have so much to say today, but it's already passed my bedtime and have an early Rolfing appointment in the morning. So tomorrow's post will be extra long --hold on to your juice! But in general having a great week --moved a ton of cellular gases out in my colonic thanks to sweet Susan!

Off to bed.....
zzkyle

Juice Feast Day: 24

2008-03-24T19:06:00.000-07:00

....catching some rays while Michael paints in his studio
Sleep: 10:30pm-8:30am--restless sleep due to all my fruity juices yesterday, whoops!
Skin brushing/tongue scraping
Hot/cold contrasting shower
Juice: 32 ounces "The Killer XXX" -- green apple, EXTRA ginger, EXTRA cayenne, spriulina
Juice: 64 oz "Green Lemonade" -- romaine, kale, celery, apple, cuke, ginger, lemon, zeolite, salt
Juice: 32 ounces "Pretty in Pink" --tangelo, blood orange, pink grapefruit with liquid C, Vitamin D3 and MSM
Coconut Water: 12 oz
Psyllium/bentonite clay shake -yum, yum (not!)
Hot Tea: Peppermint, Ginger, Mandarin Spice
Water: 2 L's-- yeah for me! It wasn't so bad after all ;)
Walk: 3 miles
Sunkissed: 15 mins

Another gorgeous day in NYC. I tell you nice weather makes JFing so much easier. It really affirms the fact that one should work in coordination with the earth's rhythms. I am kind of sad I am stopping right when the sun is popping. But no worries, I plan to keep one day a week totally juicy in order to continue this life long process of prevention and health flowing smoothly. I am excited also for more variety once the markets start to produce.

The count down is on! 5 whole days left. I was in the health food store and tempted to start stocking up on raw treats and snacks, but I think that would be a dangerous idea. At this point I am SOOO mentally ready for solid foods, but my body is still not sure it remembers how to chew! haha

In any case the first couple of days are just soaked prunes and more juice, so I am not quite there yet anyways.

Keeping it short tonight, as I am finally tackling another very long and over due post for my other blog. Topic: Detox on a shoestring budget (and schedule!)

Juice Feast: Day Twentythree

2008-03-23T08:27:00.000-07:00

....no chocolate eggs this year for this chica! Oh, btw, the yellow gloves are not a fashion statement, but have saved my hands from turning into chapped prunes.
Sleep: 11:00pm-7:30am
Skin brushing/tongue scraping Hot/cold contrasting shower
Juice: 32 ounces "Sweet Tarts" --pear, apple, kiwi, cucumber (that was for you Judy!), cilantro, lime
Juice: 16 oz "Thai Greens" from Pure Food and Wine Take Away-- greens with pineapple, cilantro and lime (yum!)
Juice: 32 ounces "Pretty in Pink" --tangelo, blood orange, pink grapefruit with liquid C, Vitamin D3 and MSM
Coconut water: 32 oz
Hot Tea: peppermint, dandelion root, and ginger
Yoga: 90 mins of pure yoga love with the hilarious Vanessa at Vira. It was also such a treat to practise with my beloved yoga friends -- Adam and Judy.
Sunkissed: 30 mins on the "patio"
Walk: 1 hour
Connecting: I delicious conversations with some of my dearest friends and family today. It feels so good to get connected again with folks after a long hibernation. Big hugs to Jeff and Jodi, Jessie, Susan, Mom, Debbie and Lois!

Happy Easter everyone. Well, I indulged a bit today and took the holiday off from my usual marathon juicing. I wasn't really planning on a vacation but it just worked out that way. See, in order to get to yoga on time I only was able to make two juices at home, both of which happened to be the fruity ones. By the time I got home, cooked an awesome (not that I tasted it, but it looked divine if I may say so myself) Easter brunch for Michael, I really just wanted to go outside and enjoy the weather rather than spend another hour juicing. So I was a very bad JFer and played hookie and made NO green juices!! I did walk out to Pure and get one greener juice, but it also had fruit in it. Oh well, I definitely don't recommend it, because I felt a little unstable all day -- not hungry unstable, but like I had had two much sweet and nothing balancing it out. Sleep was also restless and light, but I feel fine today and figure it is all part of this big experiment; pushing the boundaries and seeing what happens -- kinda fun, actually!

I am also teeming with ideas for my upcoming wedding in August. My excitement to plan something other than my juices for the day and when I am going to shop for juices, etc., etc., is so strong.

My visions for the future are also super clear and feel very possible. One thing that I have gained --other than all the nutrients from the juices on this cleanse-- is confidants and clarity. I think I needed this challenge to get over my fears around future decision making (namely, whether or not to have kids, buy property, where to go professionally -- you know all that "adult" stuff :).

JFing has turned out to be such a rewarding experience in so many more ways than I imagined before starting! With only 7 days left (it went by SO fast), I look forward to just enjoying myself, reflecting on what all of this means, and getting clear on how I want to proceed from here now that I have pushed the "reset" button many times during the course of this amazing journey!

Many thanks to you all for listening, sharing and lovingly embracing me.

Juice Feast: Day 22

2008-03-22T16:38:00.000-07:00

...Where my juicer is used to be our stove. When juicing you need all the counter space you can get!
Sleep: 12:00pm-8:30am
Skin brushing/tongue scraping Hot/cold contrasting shower
Juice: 32 ounces "Bleeding Hearts" -- beet, carrot, celery, kale, ginger, lime
Juice: 64 oz "Green Lemonade" -- romaine, kale, celery, apple, cuke, ginger, lemon, zeolite, salt
Juice: 32 ounces "Pretty in Pink" --tangelo, blood orange, pink grapefruit with liquid C, Vitamin D3 and MSM
Colonic: more solids than mush this time which is interesting considering I am not having any fiber?
Infared Sauna: 35 mins--ahhh took the chill right out of my bones
Clothes shopping: Every thing's falling off, time to get some new duds
Cat Nap: Man, shopping really wears you out! haha

Spectacular day here in NYC; sunny, blue skies and a spring "buzz" in the air. It was as though everyone around me was vibrating with the excitement and anticipation of spring. The Green Market was packed with people, trying to get all their last minutes Easter lilies and fresh ingredients for Easter Brunch. I just love this time of year when the earth comes alive and sends an electric shock through our nervous system! Rawrrrrr

I am loving the 20's so far. I feel really stable and almost want to say that this whole juicy life is effortless and easy ....but......haha

Nothing major going on for me right now in terms of detoxing, although I do have a little skin breakout, but that always happens after I sauna. Being a more fiery constitution, high heat is a bit irritating and inflaming for my skin. So I am pretty sure today's breakout is due to that.

Another physical issue I have been dealing with is super dried lips. I realize that I should be drink tons more regular water than I have been while JFing, but I have had this strange aversion to it. I just don't want it at all! So I have been drinking lots of tea, diluting my juices with water to get more liquid in, etc., but I have absolutely no desire for it straight up.

Hum, actually looking back on my life I have never desired water very much. I would definitely call myself a thirsty person, but not really for water (which is probably why I am thirsty!). I think that being mildly dehydrated is one of the reasons why I over eat. For sure I have eaten thinking I was hungry when really I was thirsty. In fact, 95% of the time my I am positive my cravings would be quelled by water. Good to have clarity on....

One a pleasant note we went to a friend's art opening tonight, which ended up being really fun. I have not been feeling super social since JFing; mostly because I can't partake in any eating or drinking (alcohol, of course) and in general feeling more introverted, but tonight I got dressed up a little and was really up for it. Co-workers of Michael's that I know where at this event so it was fun to see them. They were all very intrigued by what I was doing and couldn't believe I had the energy to even be standing no less out on the town! I told them I actually have too much energy often times and they were amazed and "want some of that." So we little JFers are definitely leaving a wonderful mark on people, which feels really good!

After the art opening we went to a little dinner party at a friends house. It was very causal french countryside fare: Wine, a baguette, cheese, thinly sliced salami, olives, a fig comfit, etc. The way they ate the food; breaking the bread with their hands, passing around a beautiful assortment of hard and soft cheeses, gnashing on olives in between sips of good quality red wine, used to be what I thought of as a healthy, Mediterranean light dinner. Part of me really still wants to think that way; that eating bread and cheese and wine is refined, European, classy and good for me. But I know it's not and that all of those foods are actually sticky, heavy and really unfit for our digestive systems. But how sad! I feel like I want it all right now. I want to dine with ease and in the merriment of friends on foods like that, but I also want to take care of my body, honor it and not load it down with toxic foods and drink. It's so tough living in a two worlds especially here in NYC where you can get the best of the best and easily indulge however you'd like.

All of these issues are coming up as I head into my last week of JFing and thinking about how I am going to eat after all of this is done. The reality is is that I live with a non raw foodist and most of my closest friends are the same way. It's not always fun being the odd ball out or being the center of attention because you come to a party with a bag of "your special foods." Ugghhh

Anyways, now I am blabbing, but all of these questions and concerns are all swirling around in my head. Maybe I need some water?!?! :)

Juice Feast: Day Twentyone

2008-03-21T17:55:00.000-07:00

...the usual suspects showing off their vibrant selves!
(From Left to Right: green lemonade, pretty-n- pink, italian stallion, bleeding hearts)

Sleep: 11: 15pm-7:00am
Hot Tea: 16oz Roasted Dandelion Root -- great for the liver
Skin brushing/tongue scraping Hot/cold contrasting shower
Juice: 48ounces "Summer Rain"-- watermelon, cucumber, lime, sprulina
Juice: 64 oz "Green Lemonade" -- romaine, kale, celery, apple, cuke, ginger, lemon, pure synergy, zeolite, salt
Juice: 32 ounces "Italian Stallion" -- tomato, collard greens, carrot, basil, cuke, celery, romaine, lemon, 1 Tbsp hemp seed oil, liquid kelp drops (iodine), salt, cayenne, paprika
Juice: 32 ounces "Pretty in Pink" --tangelo, blood orange, pink grapefruit with liquid C, Vitamin D3 and MSM
Walking: 6 miles
Yoga: 45 mins home practise -- loving the back bendy heart openers these days
Catch-up: Had the BEST phone conversation with my dear friend Annette, who is a brave little raw foodie in Northern VT, where they are STILL getting loads of fresh snow! Go Annette Go, you ROCK-n-SHOVEL girlfriend!

Today while walking, I declared to myself that sugar is no longer for me --in no shape, form or capacity. I don't care if it is a ring ding or a date, I don't want any of it in my mouth or in my life. (Except for fruit, but even that is not tasting great to me these days)

I am not sure where this rejection of the thing I have loved the most in my life is coming from, but it was such a strong feeling that came over me. I have always been pretty observant of how people around me are eating and mindlessly consuming anything that is declared 'edible' by the FDA, but while JFing my awareness has heightened so much that I am completely appalled by the amount of sugar laden "foods" folks eat everyday. I also work with a child and the amount of cookies, candies, chocolate and junk that she acquires on a daily bases from school friends, teachers, events, holidays, etc., is outrageous. No wonder she suffers from chronic constipation and restless nights at the age of 7. It was so cute, the other day she was so desperately trying to go the bathroom, but nothing was coming out even though she knew "something is in the entrance way, Kyle, I can feel it." She called me in and asked for a carrot or an apple she could eat to help get it out! I am always telling her that fruit and veggies will make going the bathroom much easier, but I don't know about munching on them while on the pot. Poor dear!

But I must take responsibility. For sure my frustrations around sugar all come back to me and my relationship to it --highly addicted and controlling-- which is why I am reacting so sharply to it's existence right now. I know that similarly to an alcoholic I just can't touch the stuff or its all over. Well, at least that was the case before JFing, so maybe things have changed? Maybe I can just have one or two dates and be satisfied, or one raw truffle and be content? That would be ideal, but I think my work around a balanced and healthy relationship to all things sweet is not done yet. I am in the "rejection" phase which lies way on the other side of the spectrum. Getting to a place in the middle will take at least these last 8 days of my JF if not forever. But just having this opportunity to sit with it, observe it, face it and react mentally, not physically to its presence, it such a gift, and a luxury that I am so grateful for!

Juice Feast: Day 20~

2008-03-20T19:01:00.000-07:00

......"S" is for Spring!
Sleep: 11: 00pm-6:00am
Hot Tea: 16oz Peppermint
Skin brushing/tongue scraping
Hot/cold contrasting shower
Juice: 32ounces "Bleeding Hearts" --beets, romaine, kale, carrot, celery, apple, ginger, lemon, liquid kelp drops, zeolite
Juice: 64 oz "Green Lemonade" -- romaine, kale, celery, apple, cuke, ginger, lemon, pure synergy, zeolite, salt
Juice: 32 ounces "Pineapple Paradise" -- pineapple, apple, ginger, spirulina, lime
Juice: 32 ounces "Pretty in Pink" --tangelo, orange, pink grapefruit with liquid C and MSM
Colonic: Still lots of big releases, but endured several rounds of intense nausea right before them. I've been drinking lots of liver detoxers recently so that could be the root of the nausea. Thankfully it passed quickly every time.
Walking: 3 miles

Today was a long work day starting at 6:30am to make juice, followed by colonic clients all morning and then uptown to my nanny job where I stay till 9:00pm on Thursdays. I find that my energy is so even the entire day, with little to no dips or dives. It's so liberating to be able to function fully and optimistically all day! I used to have lots of ups and downs; super moody and then often come home and project it onto poor Michael, but now I am spunky and happy all day long.

So for the past week I have been a food magazine junkie! It started last weekend at my sister's who has a subscription to Bon Appetite magazine and gave me all her old copies. I am having a total field day just pouring through each page-- carefully studying all the recipes, ingredient by ingredient and devouring the pictures up with my eyes. It's funny because I have NO desire to eat the things I am looking at, but I have the biggest craving to make them ALL!

So I have come to face the fact that I LOVE to cook, and I think I might actually love cooking food more than I like eating cooked food. I would be so happy if I could cook cooked food all the time, but only eat raw foods! The problem for me with making raw foods is that it is all prepping and chopping, all of which are my LEAST favorite things to do. My love really lies in the creating, spicing, stirring, and tending to food over the warm stove. Ironically, even though I am killing it, I feel very connected to it. I also love to carefully plate each dish and make them look as beautiful as possible. I love to have people over, throw dinner parties, wine and dine my friends and play hostess.

If I were super rich I would cook for fun all the time for others and then hire a personal raw food chef for me! That is the best solution for my duel passions, don't you think!?! haha

Well, it is fun to dream and I am certainly going to manifest this idea, because why the heck not, but until the day comes where I can actually eat solid foods ( 9 more days!!) I will continue drooling over my latest Martha Stewart (yes, I am a big fan of her genius staff, who put together a very inspiring magazine). Oh, I really want a garden too....hum, maybe on the roof?

Juice Feast: Day Nineteen

2008-03-19T18:00:00.000-07:00

...."Pretty-n-Pink" before mixing and turning all pink!
Sleep: 12: 30pm-8:00am
Hot Tea: 16oz Peppermint
Skin brushing/tongue scraping
Hot/cold contrasting shower
Juice: 32ounces "Bleeding Hearts" --beets, romaine, kale, carrot, celery, apple, ginger, lemon, liquid kelp drops, zeolite
Juice: 64 oz "Green Lemonade" -- romaine, kale, celery, apple, cuke, ginger, lemon, pure synergy, zeolite, salt
Juice: 32 ounces "SweetTarts" -- pear, kiwi, cucumber, cilantro, lemon and mint
Juice: 32 ounces "Pretty in Pink" --tangelo, orange, pink grapefruit with liquid C and MSM
Juice: 32 ounces "Italian Stallion" -- tomato, kale, carrot, celery, cuke, scallion, fennel, basil, 1 Tbsp hemp seed oil, salt--I am really enjoying this savory number at night. Taste like a liquid Italian dinner!
Yoga: 30 mins home practice -- I was supposed to go to the 2 hour adv. class this morning but I think I took too much natural calm last night because I was in and out of the bathroom all morning and did not feel like leaving the apt was a good idea
Rebounding: 20 mins -- started to get a weird throbbing pain near my left kidney? Not sure what that is about.
Walking: 3 miles
Enema: 2 L with cat's crawl tincture to get the last of it out...but there is always more!

So my moon cycle started today. I wasn't sure if it would flow this month considering the circumstances, but thankfully it has. Strangely, I am feeling more bloated and even gassy then I normally am eating normally? My energy is stable but not particularly up or down, just kind of in the blahish-middle. I have never had painful or debilitating periods-- they just come and go fairly uneventfully. Since going raw they have become super short. Three days max with a light first day, heavier second and almost nothing third. PMS symptoms are not so bad either, but just enough that I know it is coming.

Other than that nothing profound to report on this chilly, rainy day. I am feeling stable both physically and mentally (just a wee nostalgic for food) and very much looking forward to bringing in the first day of spring tomorrow with a nice green juice!

Juice Feast: Day 18

2008-03-18T20:44:00.000-07:00

.....this is only enough produce to make 2 L of juice....3 more to go!
Sleep: 11: 30pm-8:15am
Hot Tea: 24oz Peppermint
Skin brushing/tongue scraping
Hot/cold contrasting shower
Juice: 32ounces "Bleeding Hearts" --beets, romaine, kale, carrot, celery, apple, ginger, lemon, liquid kelp drops, zeolite
Juice: 32 oz "Green Lemonade" -- romaine, kale, celery, apple, cuke, ginger, lemon, pure synergy, zeolite, salt
Juice: 32 ounces "SweetTarts" -- pear, kiwi, cucumber, cilantro, lemon AND mint this time!
Juice: 32 ounces "Pretty in Pink" --tangelo, orange, pink grapefruit with liquid C and MSM
Juice: 32 ounces "Italian Stallion" -- tomato, kale, carrot, celery, cuke, scallion, 1 Tbsp hemp seed oil
Juice: 20 oz "The Killer XXX"-- apple, lemon, EXTRA ginger, EXTRA cayenne -- phew, this one will heat you up!
Coconut Water: 16oz
Natural Calm: 1 heaping Tbsp mixed with 20 oz water. So great to calm the nerves at the end of the day and get your bowels flowing in the morning. This is a calcium/Mag supplement that also keeps you regular. Highly recommend it!
Lecture: "Food Cravings: What are they and how to overcome them" Yey, fasting was one of the best solutions!

Speaking of cravings, I have been cooking for Michael these past two nights and have had such a blast! Before JFing I had a habit of nibbling the entire time I cooked, so by the time the food was done I would be full and didn't need to eat any more, but of course I do and then feel completely overstuffed. So, I was not sure how cooking would feel JFing. I am proud to report that there was no desire what so ever, and Michael claims that I spiced and salted everything perfectly!

Really, ever since going raw, I have missed cooking so much -- I just love the whole process of cooking-- from creating the menu, shopping for the ingredients, prepping (ok, well a prep cook would be nice!) and then of course the actually making of the dish and garnishing it. Of course, I can do this while being raw to a certain extent, but nothing beats creating an amazing meal on an open flame. You just can't quit recreated the same experience with a blender, food processor and dehydrator.

Also, cooking these past two days has been so therapeutic for my relationship. Making food for Michael makes me feel more connected to him, and being by the warmth of the stove has melted away the icy chills that I have felt so intensely while juicing. Even though I didn't taste the food I made, I ate it all up with my eyes and my nose, which satisfied me though and through. Who needs to eat when you can smell things? You get all the benefits without the side effects this way! Hey, is that Pizza smell coming from Apt 12?? ;)

Juice Feast: Day Seventeen

2008-03-17T14:29:00.000-07:00

Sleep: 11pm-7:45am -- Could have gotten up early, but decided to linger with my thoughts in bed for an extra hour or so..so many ideas reeling in my head these days!
Hot Tea: 16oz Peppermint-- tea seems to appeal to me much more than plain water. For sure it is the warmth I am craving.
Skin brushing/tongue scraping
Hot/cold contrasting shower
Juice: 32ounces "Bleeding Hearts" --beets, romaine, kale, carrot, celery, apple, ginger, lemon, liquid kelp drops, zeolite
Juice: 32 oz "Green Lemonade" -- romaine, kale, celery, apple, cuke, ginger, lemon, pure synergy, zeolite, salt
Juice: 32 ounces "SweetTarts" -- pear, kiwi, cucumber, cilantro, lemon --AMAZING! By far these best juice combo I have made thus far....oh my gosh I want more NOW!
Juice: 32 ounces "Pretty in Pink" --tangelo, orange, pink grapefruit with liquid C and MSM
Yoga: 1 1/2 hrs: I have never been to a night class since being in NYC -- normally I am a morning yogini. It was such a treat to go and see a whole crop of yogis that I have never seen before. Kind of refreshing to be mostly anonymous until Raw B walked through the door! I felt right a home when seeing her face and it was also like seeing the light at the end of the jfing tunnel. Raw B is such a juicing rock star! She made it 57 days (!) and looking damn fine as a raw foods chomper!
Colonic: After loosening up some junk in yoga, I headed off to Gravity to treat a client and then myself. Even though I didn't manage to get much of the psyllium/Intestinal Draw Formula in me yesterday, whatever did go in really got thinks moving and shaking inside. My colonic was back to its usual flowing self. Thank goodness, I knew there was more to go!

So I have decided to devote this post to how I am doing physically. I had an amusing moment today in yoga when doing tree pose. First off, I felt so balanced and steadfast in the pose it was really grounding on the senses, but what shocked me was when I went to put the sole of my foot into my inner thigh to create a resistance, there was no inner thigh to press into!! Normally my thighs are, well, juicy with plenty of flesh to sink my foot into, but not this time!

The weight lose factor was definitely one of my trepidations committing to such a long JF. Normally at around 126 when raw and at 5' 7 1/2" I did not feel like I had too much weight to spare without looking and feeling sickly. So in anticipation of the JF I turned to the cooked food world and indulged in all my old time favorites that I had not tasted in years and quickly put on an extra 7 pounds before the feast started. Mind you, this also made me feel terrible so I don't recommend it!

So as of this morning I have officially lost 15 pounds. Kind of shocking because I thought that I would look terrible this thin, but have been assured by Michael that I look "healthy-slim" and not "sickly-thin." I have to give credit to the fact that I have been diligent about continuing to exercise and do yoga during this feast to insure that don't lose muscle mass - and it has worked! I feel and look strong and healthy despite such a drastic weight lose in just 17 days. With that said, I hope I don't go down too much more. I plan to increase my greens and green powders during these last two weeks and try to get more oils in although my body really feels queasy after taking them. Also, I will continue to take more high calorie juices in like beet and carrot.

Other notable physical changes are:

Nail: SUPER strong and with no new white zinc/calcium deposits
Skin: have a nice glow goin' on and acne has cleared up considerably. Complexion has also seemed to even out nicely. I have a few small eruptions on thighs and chest, but nothing like before.
Sight: Clearer, sharper, colors more intense
Smell: Oh my god, can we say TOO acute! Hey, is that fresh bread baking twelve blocks away??
Taste: Also very acute and can taste when a fruit or veggie in the juice is slightly off
Yoga Practice: Now that I am over last weeks round of detox symptoms I am feeling very strong and brave on the mat. Very "in" my body and connected with what my body wants.
Dreams: Crazy clear and intense. Like I am actually living them....lots of people coming through that I have not thought of in years?!
Cravings: surprisingly for saltier more savory items? Maybe because I am drinking lots of fruity things and that is satisfying my sweet tooth?

For the most part I have not noticed myself having the urge to mindlessly munch when feeling bored or putting off something I need to do, but it does still show up here and there, so I don't think that habit is totally broken yet. I find though if I have some water or tea or get busy with something else it quickly passes, but will I have the will power to do that once I am eating solids again?? Hum, I hope sooo!

Juice Feast: Day 16

2008-03-16T18:47:00.000-07:00

...thankfully my train was not this crowded, but I have been on one JUST like this in India before, crazy!
Sleep: 10pm-7:45 -- it's so quiet and dark here........(VT)
Hot Tea: 8oz Peppermint
Skin brushing/tongue scraping
Hot/cold contrasting shower: The hotel shower was much more reasonable than my home shower!
Juice: 64ounces "Odwalla" OJ: I know, I know, it was terrible! (And it really tasted so un-fresh!) But, I was really in the mood for citrus and I couldn't find any fresh, so this was my best option. The label claims it was only "flash" pasteurized, so it really was the best option considering the circumstances.
Juice: 20 oz "Skin Trip" -- carrots, cucumber, spinach, parsley, 2oz aloe vera & liver-kidney detox tincture
Juice: 20 ounces "Grasshopper" -- pineapple, pear, apple, wheatgrass, mint --super combo!
Juice: 20 ounces "Mixed Veggies" -- kale, spinach, parsley, celery, cucumber, carrot, beet
Juice: 20 ounces "Greens with Carrot" -- unfortunately this one tasted a little off to me, so I didn't risk it
Fresh Coconut Water: 32oz
Ginger Tea x2
Psyllium/Bentonite Clay/Intestinal Draw Formula: Oh my goodness! I GAGGED my way through only half of the recommended dose. It was so hard to get the clumps out of the IDF before the psyllium started to get to thick to swallow. I actually had to dump the first batch out because I did not make it in time, and used a little less of each the second time, but was so traumatized from the first attempt that my throat would just shut and not let much through.......SOS, help JFers, how do you do it???
Stroll: My sisters dropped me off in downtown Brattleboro, VT before continuing north and me catching a train back to the city. I went to college just outside of Brattleboro, so it was like coming back home after being away for a long time; everything was so familiar but slightly different. They have the BEST health food store there so I plunked myself down, drank juice and read the local paper when sure enough two peeps I went to college with appeared. It was really fun to catch up with them and to hear all the latest campus gossip.
Train Time: I always take a train over the bus when possible because it is such a gentle, soothing ride. I gazed out the window just meditating on things that I never seem to have the space nor time to do in NYC. It was such a luxury to just let me mind wonder without guilt or interruption.

So I have discovered that it is pretty easy to do a very short trip while JFing. I made my juices for Sat fresh that morning, and then bought two 32 oz coconut juices from Pure, which conveniently puts them in spill proof plastic containers, and four 20oz veggie juices from Liquiteria, one of the best juice bars in NYC (they use a Norwalk Press juices and then bottle them for easy access) because of the way in which they juice the veggies. If all goes right and they are kept well refrigerated (I had them in a cooler till we got the hotel and then refrigerated them) they last for 72 hours with all the enzymes in tact. Because I drank too much OJ in the morning ( darn it!) I did not get to my last green juice down till it was too late - it had turned. Michael did think it had, but my taste buds and nose could tell immediately something was off.

It feels great to be back in NYC after a little "breather," literally. I feel rested, healthy (with just a little mucus still) and excited to take on these next few weeks of juicing. During my thinking time on the train, I decided to stop JFing at day 30 no matter how well things are going. As much as I may want to go on, for the sake of my beloved and our upcoming wedding, I need to devote my time and energies towards them. It's the happy compromise that WE all feel good about. And that is the most important thing!

Juice Feast: Day 15

2008-03-15T18:03:00.000-07:00

Sleep: 11pm-5:45 -- Rise and Juice! Nothing like juicing with the rising sun.
Hot Tea: 16oz Peppermint
Skin brushing/tongue scraping
Hot/cold contrasting shower
Juice: 32ounces "Bleeding Hearts" --beets, romaine, kale, carrot, celery, apple, ginger, lemon, liquid kelp drops
Juice: 32 oz "Green Lemonade" -- romaine, kale, celery, apple, cuke, ginger, lemon
Juice: 32 ounces "Rays of Sun on an Open Pasture" -- cantaloupe, cucumber, cilantro, ginger, lemon --so good!
Juice: 32 ounces "Pretty in Pink" --tangelo, orange, pink grapefruit with liquid C and MSM
Fresh Coconut Water: 32oz
Music Therapy: My younger (15 yr old) sister, Liana an amazing cellist and aspiring raw foodist performed with several other talented young musician's at the New England Music Festival in Bennington, VT.
Sistas Spa Night: I purposely booked us a hotel that had an attached spa facility. It was such a treat to be saunaing and soaking in an outdoor hot tub with my slinkin' sistas.
Laugh Therapy: After getting totally relaxed at the spa, we flipped on the tube, something none of us do often, and laughed our brains out watching that classic Bette Midler film "Big Business." I haven't seen that film since I was 10 and it was even funnier the second time around. A classic must see!

Leaving the city, even for 24 hours was EXACTLY what I needed. I have not been out of this concrete jungle since Xmas and I think my body was literally screaming for me to get OUT! I could not stop taking deep breathes. The air was moist and sweet in that way that fresh snow smells....yum, I could have eaten it.

Being with my sisters was also incredibly healing. I hope this is just the first of MANY impromptu girls weekends. Both of them are so wise and inspiring my heart and soul. I love how we are all fully coming into our own as adults and can support each other through the thick and thin of life's challenges.

Ahhhh....Vermont+SisterLove=Bliss

Juice Feast: Day 14!

2008-03-14T18:46:00.000-07:00

...me and my sweety soon after I went raw this past summer....he enjoys raw foods occasionally, but not enough to give up coffee and ice cream!
Sleep: 11pm-8:45 -- woke up in the middle of the night parched, clogged and feeling shipwrecked
Hot Tea: 16oz Peppermint
Skin brushing/tongue scraping
Hot/cold contrasting shower
Juice: 64ounces "Bleeding Hearts" --beets, romaine, kale, carrot, celery, apple, ginger, lemon, liquid kelp drops, pure synergy - back on the powders after a little vacation
Juice: 32 oz "green lemonade" -- romaine, kale, celery, apple, cuke, ginger, lemon
Juice: 32 ounces "Appleloupgingerlina" -- apple, cantaloupe, ginger, lemon, sprulina.
Juice: 26 ounces "Pretty in Pink" --tangelo, orange, pink grapefruit with liquid C and MSM
Fresh Coconut Water: 8oz
Ginger Tea x2
Walk: 1 hour --walked at a snails pace today; my body just did not want to move or function till around 5pm! I think I over did it yesterday and paying for it today.
Colonic: Strangely very little came out today? I was hoping for big releases to help clear the congestion in my head, but very little would budge. I think its a combo of me being dehydrated (ironically you can get very dehydrated on a Juice Feast if you're not careful) and the colonic not able to move the next layer of sludge. My colleague recommended that I do a psyllim/bentonite clay shake to help get it out.

WOW, week two was a killer! The highs and the lows were so intense- to the point of almost breaking me a couple of times. Today was a good example of how no matter what I did I could not convince my body to kick into gear, and no matter how much I tried to soothe my mind the tears and mucus just kept flowing. It feels like I am literally hitting up against a brick wall with no way of getting around it. The wall, of course, is me and all my "stuff" that is demanding attention, time and healing. And yet, I am so overwhelmed by the task. In fact, I am overwhelmed by all the tasks involved with this cleanse. Today I just stared at my juicer for 15 mins and cried. I couldn't muster the physical or emotional energy it took to juice. Then, I went to the bathroom and stared at the body brush, the shower and the enema bag and cried again! It took me until almost noon to actually do anything but stare and cry, it was so awful. What a real life glimpse into what it must feeling like to live with chronic depression/anxiety -- completely paralysing.

Now that I am functional again, it is clear to me that all of this is teaching me how to love, honor and truly take care of myself. It is not always obvious to me what I need in life, what I need from my partners, friends, food, drink, and most importantly myself. And when it is clear why is it so hard for me to receive it and choose the optimal solution? When I feel thirsty these days, strangely I can't bring myself to drink? When I am hungry, it is like pulling teeth to get me to swallow the juices that I know will feed me. Sounds so strange, even to myself to have such aversions, but when face to face with the possibilities of letting go of something to heal is scaring me to death. And it seems like that is the brick wall, the fear and the fear of rejection. It might take more than psyllium to move the mountain of fear.

On another note, I have to say that JFing is really taking a toll on my relationship with my fiance. I am so consumed in this process that there seems to be very little time, energy or desire left for "us." Yesterday we had the "talk" about how much longer I am going to JFing and when things are going to be back to "normal." He bravely expressed how much he misses wining and dining with me, being able to go out without thought, having friends over for dinner, socializing, etc. It is so true, this whole thing is very selfish in many ways and he has been very supportive thus far-- I have certainly have not been as generous to him in return. When he comes home I just dump all my inner frustrations and anger on him and when I feel like I am rejecting myself, I project it onto our relationship.

It's true some days I just want to be carefree and "normal." I just want to be able to go out to a restaurant and order a normal meal off the menu and not make such a fuss all the time. Some days I don't want to have to ALWAYS be consumed with what I am consuming! Some days I just want to travel with out fear of what others will think, where I am going to get my next meal and having to pack a whole extra suit case for my "special" foods. Ahhhhh......and yet, how can I go back when I have come so far and know so much? When really I do feel the best I have ever felt on raw foods, juices and greens? Right now I am not sure where the balance lies.

I am traveling to southern VT with my older sister this weekend to see my younger sister perform with her youth orchestra. I am attempting to continue juicing while I am there but it is going to be tough--unless it's not, one never knows these days! In any case I am so looking forward to getting some fresh air!

This stream of consciousness will be continued once I get back.......

peace,
kyle

Juice Feast: Day Thirteen

2008-03-13T19:24:00.000-07:00

Sleep: 10:45pm-7:45 -- again, so many great "morning" dreams I didn't want to get up!
Hot Tea: 16oz Peppermint
Skin brushing/tongue scraping
Hot/cold contrasting shower
Juice: 64ounces "Bleeding Hearts" --beets, romaine, kale, carrot, burdock root, celery, apple, ginger, lemon, pinch of salt to help curve food cravings (it really works!)
Juice: 32 ounces "Appleloupgingerlina" -- just how it sounds: apple, cantaloupe, ginger, lemon, sprulina. Very yummy combo and the key to getting the spirulina to mix fully is to put the hand held blender to it! Zoom, zoom
Juice: 22 ounces "Pretty in Pink" --tangelo, orange, pink grapefruit with liquid C and MSM
Fresh Coconut Water: 16oz
Ginger Tea x2
Enriched honey: 1 tsp
Walk: 3 hours --happens so easily in NYC!
Catnap: 30 mins in a sunny spot of the house...ahhhhh a real luxury
Body Work: 2 hours of working on the sides of my body, which known as the "containers." To become engaged with the sides of your body you are getting more clear on where you end and the world begins. For those who have a hard time setting boundaries for themselves, they tend to "spill out the sides" (aka love handles--I had never thought of them that way before! ;); others who hold on too tightly to their own agendas (aka Type A personalities) tend to be more restricted and congested in their side bodies (IT bands, side ribs, arm pits, sides of the neck, etc.) with little expansion action going on. So what am I?? Well, each side seems to be different! My right side wants to naturally do what we call in Anusara yoga more "inner spiral" or rotate in towards the center of the body, whereas my left side wants to go the opposite way -- turn out and expand to the parameters. Maybe this is why I always feeling literally pulled in two directions, and in my yoga practice my body is very different in terms of what it can do from side to side? The other interesting tidbit I learned from my therapist are that they ways in which our bodies are constructed have been linked, in more recent studies, to the nutrition of the mother, particularly in her first trimester. Apparently the best way to tell if a newborn has been properly nourished in the womb is to look at the upper palate in their mouths. If their palate bridge is wide ( unfortunately I am not sure of the exact measurements) then they are in very good health, but if it is narrow, which almost every one's is these days, then they were lacking in nutrients in the womb. Now, if I, for example, got pregnant and ate an all raw diet and lots of high vibrational foods and juices for the entire pregnancy, that does not necessary mean my child will have a wide bridge and be in perfect health. It takes 2 to 6 (depending on your cultural background --folks from more tribal and clan based cultures will respond a lot faster than those from a European background like mine) generations to reverse the misdoings of our foremothers and fathers. SO sad!! But the good news is that it has to start some time, and it is clear that in my family the real changes are starting with me. SO mommies, please put down the cupcakes, cookies, cakes it's not worth it! Have a juice instead they are so deeply satisfying and nurishing in ALL ways and have amazing long term effects for you and your little ones.

Long live the juice!
xxkyle

Juice Feast: Day 12

2008-03-12T11:55:00.000-07:00

Sleep: 11:15 p.m. to 7:45 a.m. --had psychedelic dreams last night! Everything was animated and the details were amazing!
Hot Tea: 2 cups peppermint-- I am craving tea more than plain water these days...feeling colder and colder as all my extra layers disappear
Skin brushing/tongue scraping
Hot/cold contrasting shower
Juice: 32 oz "master cleanse" -- first time I have done this. Mixed reviews...way too sweet, but better once diluted down a bit. Next time I would either skip the agave all together or add only half of the suggested amount
Juice: 20 ounces "Pretty in Pink" -- grapefruit, oranges, tangelos, msm, liquid C
Juice: 64 ounces "Italian Stallion"- celery, carrot, collards, cuke, scallions, alfalfa sprouts, endive, dill, lime, tomato, yellow squash, fennel, cayenne, Himalayan sea salt, kelp granules
Juice: 32 oz "Paradise Punch" --pineapple, green apple, ginger, lime
Coconut water: 160z
2 tsp bee pollen with 2 Tbsp honey: found myself dipping into the honey jar a few times to many
Additional Supplements: Vitamin D3, Intestinal Movement Formula, E3 Live
Yoga: 2 hour advanced class with the lovely Zhenja. It was such a treat to FINALLY get to yoga class and be flooded with smiles and prana from my fellow yogi friends. Unfortunately my body would have rather me be doing restoratives, but I did what I could and watch in wonderment when I needed a break.
Walk: 1.5 hours

Juice feasting as given me full access to my subconscious and dream world that I have always longed to tap into but never felt like I could. I have always envied people who could remember their dreams detail by detail and now I am finally one of those people. The juice seems to be peculating deep into my micro channels and sweeping away the cobwebs to reveal a whole other inner world. The colors, sounds, faces, and complexities of all of my dreams are so vivid and full of life, I wake up feeling like I just watched the most amazing movie. It's pretty wild. Who needs drugs when you have juice!?!?! I am going to start writing them all down in a journal because who knows maybe I will make a movie based on them someday....hummm Movie Director-- that would be an interesting profession change! haha

But really the most profound part of being so in engaged with my dreams is that they are revealing some deep emotional memories that I have been apparently holding onto since childhood. Technically I am not in the "child" phase yet of this cleanse (each day of JFing takes you back 120 days), but right now my dreams are featuring me as a kids (looks like about 5 or 6) and feeling neglected by my mother....really interesting since my mother was a stay at home mom when I was that young and very much in my life, whereas my dad was the one never home. But my feeling from the dream is not that she was emotionally neglecting me but nutritionally neglecting me.

Going back to my original reasons for doing this JF (refer to pre-feast posts) my mother craved mostly refined sugars and starches when she was pregnant with me, and fully indulged in them, and as a result, I too have been hooked on them. Going raw has helped a lot, but I have transferred those cravings over into the raw world too by overeating the raw treats, honey, agave, etc. Growing up my mom would feed us all the standard junk foods, whereas my dad (and even more so once my parents got divorced and he married my step-mom who only eats organic whole foods) only feed us natural, organic healthy foods. So it makes since that I would have felt under fed and malnourished by my mother, even though she was my primary caregiver.

It also makes since that this is all coming up because I have been on this mission ever since I came into my own to be healthy and be in the alternative health field dispite this opposing pull to want the bad stuff. It's like the devil and angle syndrome. My mother is on the opposite quest --still eats lots of sugars, processed foods, microwaves everything, fast food etc., even though she has developed all kinds of lifestyle acquired illnesses because of it. It has been SOO hard for me to be around her for the last couple of years because of our drastically different ways of living.

And yet, having had this dream, where I was literally sobbing and screaming and releasing massive amounts of harbored pain, anger, frustration and sadness I feel so much relief and softness towards my mom. It's like I have forgiven her and have no reason to blame her or shun her anymore. My mind feels liberated from the tension; my body has purged itself of the hate and rage that could have easily manifested itself into something more serious like cancer or arthritis ( acidic emotions getting lodged in the joints) and my heart feelings like a gushing wellspring of acceptance and love.

Juice Feast: Day Eleven

2008-03-11T19:45:00.000-07:00

...from the dark, muddy depths comes vibrant new lifeforms....what a true miracle!
Sleep: 12:00am-8:30am -- woke up feeling heaps better than yesterday, with just a tinge of a sore throat and a few nose blows
Water: 16 ounces with a small amount of MSM, zeolite and fresh ginger (infusion)
Skin brushing/tongue scraping--tongue is still coated so there is work to be done!
Hot/cold contrasting shower
Juice: 96 ounces "Green Lemonade" -- romaine, celery, kale, cuke, apple, ginger, lime, zeolite,
Juice: 16 oz of fresh coconut water --yum! Have not desired this in a few days, but was very welcomed today.
Juice: 24ounces "Applegrass Cooler" --apple, wheatgrass, lime --very yummy way to get your wheatgrass down the hatch.
Juice: 22 ounces "Pretty in Pink" --tangelo, orange, pink grapefruit with liquid C and MSM
Additional Supplements: E3 live, vitamin D, Intestinal Movement Formula, 1 tsp honey
Colonic: I couldn't get on the table fast enough this morning. I am definitely hitting another layer of older fecal matter that looks and feels unlike the "newer stuff."
Walk: about 2 hours total

Feeling much better but very introspective today......seems as though the physical sensations of my growing pains have retreated for now which is giving me the time and space to reflect and assimilate. So off to meditate I go.

Sweet dreams,
Kyle

Juice Feast: Day 10

2008-03-10T19:07:00.000-07:00

....Lord Vishnu, the sustainer of all things...today I draw upon his wisdoms to help me get through the mid sections of JFing, which are not nearly as fun as the beginning and end.....
Sleep: 12:00am-8:00am -- woke up with a terrible sore throat, throbbing head, and general flu-like symptoms. Also, not exactly a stuffy nose, but all of a sudden I felt the urge to blow and lots of goopy yellowish mucus would come out! What's going on???
Water: 16 ounces with, lemon, MSM (3 heaping tsp), probiotic, zeolite (x5 drops)-- I think I was a little over zealous with the MSM because on top of my flu-like stuff I had the runs all day. But it was not like normal diarrhea, but kind of gravel-like stuff with mucus plaque mixed in! Yuck-ola
Skin brushing/tongue scraping
Hot/cold contrasting shower
Juice: 64 ounces "Green Lemonade" -- romaine, celery, kale, cuke, apple, ginger, lime, zeolite, pure synergy, spirulina and a generous dash of Himalayan sea salt
Juice: 32 ounces "Bleeding Hearts" --beets, romaine, kale, carrot, burdock root, celery, apple, ginger, lime, 1Tbs Pure Synergy Powder, Liver/gallbladder Detox tincture (x10 drops), liquid Kelp
Juice: 32 ounces "Apple Pie" --apple, GINGER, lemon, cinnamon and a scoop of spirulina that just got clumpy and chunky --not nice kids, not nice.
Juice: 22 ounces "Pretty in Pink" --tangelo, orange, pink grapefruit with liquid C
Ginger Tea
Additional Supplements: E3 live, vitamin D, Intestinal Movement Formula, Zinc Lozenger
Body Work : Sadly had to cancel because I was feeling so poorly
Walk: 3 miles

So, it seems like I am definitely in the thick of detoxing, phase one. I have had mixed emotional reactions to it -- first, I just felt crappy and confused as to why I am getting sick now when I so rarely ever even get a sniffle and here I am doing more lymphatic and immune support than ever before? Then I got a wave of relief when I saw mucus plaque in the toilet (strange, I know), because it confirmed that all of this juicing was really doing something. That was followed by another wave of feeling no enthusiasm to drink juice or to continue the juice feast for much longer; and now I am back to feeling like this is part of the process and needs to be happening. Geez, these past couple of days have really been a roller coaster!

But really what a blessing. I realized that all these hot/cold contrasting emotions is just an example of how react in general to life's challenges. I am such a start up girl --getting REALLY into something, almost obsessed in the beginning and then after the honey moon phase ends I loose interest quickly. In the past this has lead to projects left half completed, never feeling like I get very "specialized" in any one subject or profession, investing lots of time and money into whatever phase I am in and then dropping it, and then feeling like a failure.

JFing is definitely making me face myself and it is not always fun --hey, we are detoxing after all, nobody ever claimed it was going to be all fun and frothy! But to help me get through this part of the process that I usually shy away from, I am going to take the "92" day pressure out of the equation and just relax and sit with myself to get clear on what my heart is really telling me to do. So often I just go with my minds agenda because it is the most aggressive and fiery, but now it is the hearts turn to take the reigns and be the leader.

Peace,
Kyle

Juice Feast: Day Nine

2008-03-09T17:57:00.000-07:00

Sleep: 11:00 p.m. to 7:30 a.m.-- Yikes, it's really 8:30!!
Water: 16 ounces with, lemon, MSM (1 tsp), probiotic, zeolite (x5 drops)
Skin brushing/tongue scraping
Hot/cold contrasting shower
Juice: 64 ounces "Green Lemonade" -- romaine, celery, kale, cuke, apple, ginger, lime, zeolite, a generous dash of Himalayan sea salt
Juice: 32 ounces "Bleeding Hearts" --beets, romaine, kale, carrot, burdock root, celery, apple, ginger, lime, 1Tbs Pure Synergy Powder, Liver/gallbladder Detox tincture (x10 drops), liquid Kelp
Juice: 32 ounces "Spice-n-Nice" --pear, apple, GINGER, parsley
Juice: 22 ounces "Pretty in Pink" --tangelo, orange, pink grapefruit
Peppermint Tea
Additional Supplements: E3 live, vitamin D, liquid vitamin C, Intestinal Movement Formula, Zinc Lozenger
"White Truffle" with bee pollen and enriched honey-- 1 Tbs coconut oil--this is my first time taking one of these in four days, just have not been able to stomach the savory juices or the oils, but I felt my body needed some extra fat today, so I ate one and immediately got a gassy and rumbley stomach :(
Enema: After taking the oil by intestines when bonkers, so decided to get out the big guns. Helped a little bit, but the gurgling is still happening..hummm?
Rebounding: 20 mins
Sun Kissed/Cat nap: 20 mins on the "patio"
Walk: About 45 mins

Well, kids, today could not be more different than yesterday. I started the day off feeling well, but as time went on I began to feel increasingly more annoyed with the JFing lifestyle, the constant low grade feeling of hunger, schlepping 40 + pounds of groceries across the city and feeling so restricted.

I found myself at one point this afternoon just wanting to throw in the towel and say screw it, this sucks, I want to be part of society again! But then I looked around and everyone looked like the walking dead with their ashy skin, premature aging, stress and worry lines, neglected bodies, rounded shoulders, etc., and then my mind shifted back to the JFing team.

I also realized while I was feeling so badly about JFing that it was not the JFing at all, I was just frustrated with myself, with these stubborn waves of old patterns that keep resurfacing. Normally when I feel crabby, I head straight for the cupboard and chow down on whatever is there and ready to calm my nerves but I could not do that this time and it pissed me off.

Once I worked through those feelings I did have some clarity about myself. See, although I am a Libra sign, I am very attracted to pretty extreme life styles. I am an all or nothing kind of girl and finding a place in the middle or the "happy medium" is not easy for me. I was meditating on this today and this question arose: is JFing for 92 day (potentially) just another extreme measure for me to be taking? Is this really going to help bring me into balance? Or is it just feeding into my weaknesses? I not sure...I am contemplating the idea of JFing for 20 or 30 days and then stopping, reintroducing foods, see how that goes in terms of how I react to them being in my life again, and then maybe doing another round of JFing at the end of the summer. Maybe several smaller JF's would be more healing then one long intensive one?

I am trying to listen to my body, but it is so up and down --one day it LOVES JFing the next it HATES it (again the extremes), that I am not sure what it really wants, needs or desires. All I know is that I don't want to go beyond my limits and then find myself on the other end eating like I am making up for lost time--not being able to get enough in.

So I am going to sit with these contemplations for a while and see what comes out of them.

On another note, I came down with the start of a sore throat in the afternoon and feeling a bit headachy too.....strange, I so rarely get sick and I had so much Vit C today? Maybe old junk is detoxing?

Juice Feast: Day 8

2008-03-08T16:16:00.000-08:00

Sleep: 11:00 p.m. to 6:30am--had a much clearer head getting up today
Water: 16 ounces with, lemon, MSM (1 tsp), probiotic, zeolite (x5 drops)
Skin brushing/tongue scraping
Hot/cold contrasting shower
Juice: 64 ounces "Green Lemonade" -- romaine, celery, kale, cuke, apple, ginger, lime, zeolite, a generous dash of Himalayan sea salt
Juice: 32 ounces "Bleeding Hearts" --beets, romaine, kale, carrot, burdock root, celery, apple, ginger, lime, 1Tbs Pure Synergy Powder, Liver/gallbladder Detox tincture (x10 drops)
Juice: 48 ounces "Summer Rain" --watermelon, cucumber, kale, spirulina
Additional Supplements: Forgot today, whoops!
Colonic: blasted out so very deeply embedded gasses from who knows when as well as some bright fluorescent yellow bile from the liver --I needed sunglasses for that one!
Infared Sauna: 35 mins
Walk: About 2 miles
Dinner Party with neighbors: This was my first time being invited over to somebody else place for dinner while JFing. Michael forgot (?) when we were invited that I was not eating solids. So we forewarned them not to be offended that I would not be eating (so tough --they are Greek and make the most wonderful, fresh, wholesome food!) but bringing my juice instead. As beautiful as the food looked and smelled, I was really at peace with just my juice. I brought down "bleeding hearts" and put it in my wine glass so I could feel included and fancy too!
Baby Time: 2hrs -- NO, I am not pregnant, but these same friends have the cutest 5 month old that I got to hold and kiss and eat up for two hours. Actually me playing with the baby and not eating was a blessing for the parents, because for the first time since she was born they were able to enjoy an uninterrupted dinner. See, we JFer's are such a blessing to the world! :)

Today was the BEST day since starting the JF. I had colonic clients back to back all day with just one two hour break which I used to treat myself and sauna. Energy, spirits, clarity, mind, body were working seamlessly together. I did not feel my usual dip in energy at 4 o'clock, nor did I feel much hunger or cravings. I was on FIRE and loving life despite the rain and misery outside.

On days like this I feel like I could just juice for life and never go back to all the complexities and complications that come along with eating solid foods. JFing just feels so easy, so right and so GOOD!

Maybe I am feeling so strongly about this because of my dream last night? I dreamt that I was at a family dinner while JFing, but could not help myself and ate a piece of bread without anyone looking. One piece turned into two, three, four pieces. I remember feeling out of control, similarly to how I feel in real life with food (only at night) -- this feeling of deprivation, like I am never getting enough until it's too late and I feel sick. In the dream I am doing this and immediately my whole body begins to swell up, as though I am having an allergic reaction to the bread. And then the regret sets in, just like in real life.......hum, seems like I am definitely still working on this demon. But I am so thankful that my dream world is gently affirming the fact that JF is what I need to be doing right now for my self in order to finally let go of these deeply ingrained patterns that are clearly still holding on for dear life.

Juice Feast: Day Seven!

2008-03-07T20:00:00.000-08:00

Sleep: 11:45 p.m. to 7:30 a.m.-- woke up feeling as though I drank a whole bottle of wine?
Water: 16 ounces with, lemon, MSM (1 tsp), probiotic, zeolite (x5 drops)
Skin brushing/tongue scraping
Hot/cold contrasting shower
Juice: 64 ounces "Green Lemonade" -- romaine, celery, kale, cuke, apple, ginger, lime, zeolite
Water: 60 ounces "Bleeding Hearts" --beets, romaine, kale, carrot, burdock root, celery, apple, ginger, lime, 1Tbs Pure Synergy Powder, Liver/gallbladder Detox tincture (x10 drops)
Juice: 32 oz "Pineapple Whipped Cream" -pineapple, parsley, lime, 1Tbs pure synergy powder -this juice almost "whipped" like...yummm
Additional Supplements: Vitamin D3, Intestinal Movement Formula, E3 Live, Liquid Vitamin C
Yoga: one hour home practice...in honor of this rainy day I went deep into the hips. I totally agree with Katrina, all this juice is making me feel very fluid especially in my muscles and joints. I did a lot of restorative poses which segued perfectly into a nice little afternoon nap.
Nap: 45 mins, just what the Dr. ordered (or didn't;)
Rebounding: 20 mins--the perfect solution for post-nap grogginess
Walk: About 3.5 miles, mostly in the rain which made me chilled to the bone
Movie: Had a wonderful movie date with good friend and fellow raw-foodie/colon therapist. Movie was great but a tragic love story that made us both teary...more liquid!

Today is my one week JF anniversary, I feel so proud of myself. It went by relatively fast, but when I think about several more weeks of this grueling day to day life style (mostly carrying over 40 pounds of groceries for blocks and blocks, getting up very early to make juice and then hauling the juice around all day), I get a pain in my low back and my trapezius muscles get tense. Not to complain too much, but this is DAMN hard in NYC. Sure we have everything a juicing girl could want and more, but getting it from point A to point B is exhausting. These are the only times I wish I lived in suburbia--well just the car part and more counter space would be nice too!

So my reflections on week one are more superficial than anything. Mostly I am happy with how it's all going in terms of how I look and feel--people have commented on how good my skin and appearance are, however, I can't help but feel, well, bored? I mean I am plenty busy with my days, don't get me wrong, but I guess I miss variety, being social with food, and experiencing different textures and flavors in my mouth. I am a big texture girl, so just drinking day in and day out is less than exciting for me after the fit few sips.

Also, I am not having many major emotional releases yet. I know it is early on and they will come, but I thought they would have shown up by now. On the contrary, I am feeling pretty grounded and stable emotionally. I have had to deal with some family stuff this week, and I felt really in my skin about it all. In fact, people have been coming to me all week for emotional support and I have been so ready to give it without attaching myself to it.

This week my goals are to refine my juice recipes. In order to save $$ I am going to make my juices simpler, less ingredients and more in line with what my body is desiring. Yesterday and today, I have not been able to stomach anything savory. Just the thought of "Italian Stallion" makes me want to gag. Also, I can't stomach oils. I do, however really want sweeter, fruity juices and BEETS! Today I had lots of beet juice and it felt so right. I have been having waves of nausea throughout the day and I think it is my liver wanting some TLC.

Also, I want to spend more time meditating and like I mentioned yesterday, tap into the subtleties of change and transformation that are very much happening without me noticing.

I want to get more of the high protein green powders in now that they have all arrived as well as more water. Somehow I keep forgetting to drink water? Also, it is time to refine when and how I am drinking my juices. One quart every 2 1/2 hours in one sitting opposed to sipping throughout the day to give my body a break from digesting. And then remembering to swishing my mouth with salt water to rinse my teeth from all the enzymes that could break down the enamel on my teeth over time.

Hummm...maybe I am not so bored after all? haha

I want to throw myself a big party on day 30!

xxkyle

Juice Feast: Day Six

2008-03-06T18:49:00.000-08:00

...no this is not me, but I WANT this dress! :)

Sleep: 11:45 p.m. to 5:45 a.m.-- Yikes, late to bed, early to rise, but surprisingly I feel high energy and not deprived at all.
Water: 16 ounces with, lemon, MSM (1 tsp), probiotic, zeolite (x5 drops)
Skin brushing/tongue scraping
Hot/cold contrasting shower
Juice: 64 ounces "Green Lemonade" -- romaine, celery, kale, cuke, apple, ginger, lime, zeolite
Water: 16 ounces with MSM
Juice: 20 ounces "Pretty in Pink" -- grapefruit, blood oranges, tangelos
Juice: 32 ounces "Italian Stallion"- celery, carrot, collards, cuke, scallions, alfalfa sprouts, endive, dill, lime, tomato, yellow squash, fennel, cayenne, Himalayan sea salt, kelp granules
Juice: 32 oz "Dew Drop" -- honey dew melon, green apple, pear, ginger, mint, parsley, lime
Coconut water: 160z
Additional Supplements: Vitamin D3, Intestinal Movement Formula, E3 Live, Triphala, Liquid Vitamin C
Colonic: Still rockin' the tube, but always more to come
Walk: 6 + miles today--up, down and all around NYC

I am happy to report that I still managed to get all my juices sucked up and life practices in despite having to leave the house at the crack of dawn. Key to juicefeasting success? Get up super early and give yourself ample time! Just the thought of running out of juice before noon was terrifying enough to get me up before the sun.

So one consistent hardship I have been facing while juicefeasting is desperately wanting to curl up and take a nice little cat nap at EXACTLY 4 o'clock every afternoon!? It doesn't seem to matter whether or not I got enough sleep, have had too much fruit juice or not enough green juice...I can't figure it out, but literally my eyes close and my brain shuts off completely. Today I found myself even dozing off sitting up on the job (not giving a colonic thank god!;), and unless I go outside into the cool air and walk around, I can't seem to shake the sleepiness...but then, as though a spell has been broken 5 o'clock rolls around and the feeling is gone and my energy is back. Humm, mystery spell....

Two very big cravings today: 1) shopping for "pretty" things and 2) going somewhere warm where I can sport a beautiful summer dress, sip tutti-frutties (whatever that is? as long as it's sweet and pretty I am content) and lounge on the beach all day.

I walked home tonight along fifth ave., which I usually avoid, and I found myself pressed up against the storefront windows salivating over all the shimmery, shiny, sparkly, perfectly cut and tailored couture on display. And I desired it all: Prada handbags (especially this incredibly soft leather one that comes in this Hubba-Bubba grape flavor color), Roberto Cavalli hand painted, silk dresses (as shown in today's pic of the day) and Bvlgari chunky charm jewelry. I don't know what has come over me, but I feel like one juiced up lady on a mission and with a credit card ready to blow some mad cash on some beautiful wear!

Is this me talkin'? Thrift-shop queen??

I have to admit that I am noticing as my inner-body starts to transform and "clean-up" my outer-body is feeling more confident then ever and ready for a whole new "look." Thankfully, every ounce of $$ is going towards either kale or my wedding (and these days it is in that order) so I won't be really acting on these material desires, but my inner Lakshmi (goddess of prosperity all things beautiful) has found her way to my heart and wallet.

I have also decided that I need to somehow get myself to a warm (preferably tropical) place at least once during the winter time. Not sure if it is my old age or what, but this yearning to get warmed through and through and to see greens, blues, purples and yellows in their natural environments is where my cravings lie..more so than for food. Next year it's me, my sweat-heart, a freshly made fruit juice, a JCREW bathing suit (well, at least it's more in my price range;) and the beach....ahhh

Till then this juicy, thrifty, kale queen is staying right here.

Big hugs,
Kyle

Juice Feast: Day 5

2008-03-05T20:02:00.000-08:00

Sleep: 11:45 p.m. to 7:15 a.m.-- I woke up at the wee hours of the morning feeling like I was ready to start the day -- but alas, I quickly convinced myself to keep on sleepin' on....
Water: 16 ounces with, lemon, MSM (1 tsp), probiotic, zeolite (x5 drops)
Skin brushing/tongue scraping
Hot/cold contrasting shower
Juice: 64 ounces "Tortoise and the Hare" -- romaine, celery, kale, cuke, carrot, ginger, lime, a dash of Himalayan sea salt, zeolite
Water: 16 ounces with MSM
Juice: 40 ounces of "Pretty in Pink" -- grapefruit, blood oranges, tangelos
Juice: 64 ounces of "Italian Stallion"- celery, carrot, collards, cuke, scallions, alfalfa sprouts, endive, dill, lime, tomato, yellow squash, fennel, cayenne, Himalayan sea salt, kelp granules
Juice: 16 oz of "Apple Zinger" -- green apple, GINGER, lemon and a shot of wheatgrass
Coconut water: 160z
Additional Supplements: Vitamin D3, Intestinal Movement Formula, E3 Live, Triphala, Liquid Vitamin C
"White Truffles" (hardened raw coconut oil) w/bee pollen, cinnamon and "enriched" raw honey: x1
Yoga: 2 hour advanced practice with the incredible Zhenja at Vira Yoga
Walk: About 45 total today --more to get to and from than "power walking," although I was sure booking it to get to yoga on time!

I was sooo happy to get to yoga class today --it’s been way to long. I used to go everyday or every other day and then life and worked picked up so much that now getting there twice a week feels like an accomplishment. But, despite feeling disappointed that I can't make it more often, I have to say coming back to my beloved practice is more of a treat then ever. My body, although feeling stiff and stuck in places that are normally more open, was just so delighted to be engaged again and looked after. Consciously breathing deeply and steadily felt just as nourishing as my super green juice after class.

It reminds me how so many things feed us --breath, mantra, thoughts, actions, impressions, food, JUICE....the list goes on and on. Clients are always so amazed by how much comes out of them time after time during their colonic sessions—mainly because they are only thinking about their food consumption. But really when you consider every thing we ingest in a day/week/ month/ year/lifetime, all of which gets stored inside of us, thank god we do have the capacity to eliminate as much as we do!

Today in Yoga, my teacher Zhenja was taking about our "food body," literally the physical self that is a manifestation of ALL we take in. We are what we eat, literally, and our consumption choices (we always have a choice) reflect who we are. That reflection gets seen on the outside (aka, our outer body) and acts as a barometer of what is going on in the inside. Finding the connection between the two is the yoga. Of course this is all happening whether we are "yogis" or not, so you don't have to get caught up in the fancy titles, however how you proceed to engage with what is being offered and reflected back to you is the key to true empowerment.

So far with Day 5 coming to a close, I have not felt too many intense shifts or changes regarding my inner or outer body, but then again it dawned on me in class that I am not giving myself much time to just sit with this process. Seems like I am always "doing" something whether it be shopping for more veggies and fruits, washing and prepping, juicing, drinking, cleaning, getting all the life practices in, working, blogging or exercising. So my goal for the coming days is to sit and reflect more; to turn inside and really tune into all the subtle changes that I am not noticing with all my external busyness. I am really looking forward to being still, quiet and in my heart now that I have this whole juicing thing down ;)

All Love,
Kyle

2008-03-05T19:56:00.000-08:00

Juice Feast: Day 4

2008-03-04T19:11:00.000-08:00

Sleep: 11:00 p.m. to 7:00 a.m.-- getting out of bed was much easier today, but still waiting for the "I sprung out of bed today" experience.
Water: 32 ounces with, MSM (2 tsp), probiotic, zeolite (x10 drops)-- decided to cut this sour/bitter concoction with 1/2 coconut water today, which helped a ton.
Rebounding: 20mins
Skin brushing/tongue scraping
Hot/cold contrasting shower
Juice: 64 ounces "Tortoise and the Hare" -- romaine, celery, kale, cuke, carrot, ginger, lime, a dash of Himalayan sea salt, zeolite
Water: 16 ounces with 8 0z of coconut water and a super-green powder
Juice: 22 ounces of "Cucumber Cooler"-- cukes, lime, mint, a dash of agave nectar and a
Juice: 64 ounces of "Italian Stallion"- celery, carrot, collards, cuke, scallions, alfalfa sprouts, endive, dill, lime, tomato, yellow squash, fennel, cayenne, Himalayan sea salt, kelp granules
Juice: 20 oz of "Brain Food" --beet, carrot, spinach, lemon
Plain water: 160z
Additional Supplements: Vitamin D3, Intestinal Movement Formula
"White Truffles" (hardened coconut oil) w/bee pollen, cinnamon and "enriched" raw honey: x2
Bee Pollen w/Cinnamon: 1 Tbs
Colonic, self administrated: my cecum poured and poured and poured.....yes fine people, my colonics are officially pretty again! They got kind of ugly when I was "bulking up" and not eating the best foods for me. I know it must be hard to imagine that there are pretty colonics, but trust me the nicer the foods are going in, the nicer it all looks coming out!
Sun Kissed: None today...cloudy and rainy :(
Walk: 4.5 miles total and no lightheadedness today!

I am so proud of myself I got in 5.5 L of juice, 48 oz of water and 32 oz of coconut water in me today! WOW, that is a lot of liquids--no wonder I felt so good today!

Juicy Ben gave me a great tip to help with hunger and food cravings --add a bit salt to your juices. I swear it worked! Not only did I feel more balanced over all and less up and down, but my juices tasted so much better and went down the hatch so easily. Thank you Ben (and Katrina for telling Ben)! :)

So the most excited news of the day is that I had a massive BM (2 feet) on my own this morning before my colonic. I couldn't believe it! I wish I knew what made it come out, but let's hope they keep coming.

I feel like my body is finally relaxing into the idea of me just drinking juices and nothing else. Everything moved seamlessly together today and I felt very grounded and in my skin.

I found myself every so often feeling a little bored and then immediately thinking about food and desiring to eat something. Interesting observation...of course this impulsed passed quickly, but the action of mindlessly munching when I am not actually hungry is definitely a pattern I want to shift.

The next two days are going to be more challenging in terms of making juice, because I have a yoga class in the morning I really want to get to and clients starting early on Thursday. But, I am determined to keep consuming more and more each day to keep my weight and mind stable.

Juice On!
xxkyle

Juice Feast: Day Three

2008-03-03T18:32:00.000-08:00

Sleep: 12:30 a.m. to 8:00 a.m.-- felt groggy, slightly headachey, a little bit hungry and stuffy in the nose when I woke up, but it quickly passed once I got up and moving my lymphatic system.
Water: 32 ounces with lemon, cayenne, MSM (2 tsp), probiotic, zeolite (x10 drops)-- sour and bitter, my two least favorite rasas (tastes), but managed to get it down.
Rebounding: 20mins to NPR--whatah geek!
Skin brushing/tongue scraping
Hot/cold shower
Juice: 64 ounces "Green Lemonade" -- romaine, celery, kale, cuke, apple, ginger, lime
Coconut water: 20 ounces
Juice: 22 ounces of "Pretty in Pink"-- grapefruit, tangelo, orange, blood orange
Juice: 32 ounces of "Italian Stallion" just got sexier!- celery, carrot, collards, cuke, scallions, alfalfa sprouts, endive, dill, lime, tomato, yellow squash, fennel, cayenne, Himalayan sea salt, kelp granules
Juice: 32 ounces of "Spice-n-Nice"-- pear, green apple, loads of ginger, 2 limes, YUM-ola! Reminds me of the warm pear/apple spiced cider I used to get at the farmers markets in the fall..spicy and sweet tangoing together in my mouth.
Coconut water: 12 ounces
"White Truffles" (hardened coconut oil) w/bee pollen, cinnamon and honey: x2
Plain water: 160z
Hemp Oil: 1 Tbs
Yoga: 20 mins
Sun Kissed: 30 mins on the "patio." It was 57 degrees and sunny in NYC today...ahhh
Walk: 6 miles total ...my body was on fire and wanted to pass everyone in sight, but my brain felt high and was floating through the crowds a little disoriented. I think I need to cut down on the sweet coconut water and fruit juices, as the highs and lows of the sugar rushes are going straight to me noggin'!
Weight Training: Does carrying 34 pounds of produce in my arms and on my back for twenty minutes count? I think I need to find a cart system. Starting to feel mule-like, and my trapezius muscles are up to my ears.

Hooray for day 3! After my initial morning grog, I felt really fab up until this afternoon when I started drinking the sweeter juices and coconut water. I tried to talk the 7 year old that I nanny for in the afternoons into a little "nap" time today, but she didn't go for it! haha

So it takes me just about 1 1/2 solid hours to do my juicing for the day from start to finish. I have to say getting it all done in one shot is laborious but absolutely the way to go. Nothing feels better than having juice waiting for you when you get home at night...ahhhh.

Feeling more physical sensations than emotional today. Its amazes me how easy it is for me to 'sit' with all the sensations that arise throughout the day being on a structured program like this one. For example, passing all these amazing smelling restaurants today was so easy. I could smell the fat, cheese, sauce and spices dripping off of peoples forks, which naturally evoked a sense of hunger in me. But rather than reacting to quell the "feeling" of hunger as quickly as possible (usually with food), I was fully able to acknowledged the desire and move on with a feeling of freedom.

Oh, how I wish to maintain this ease of being once I am off the JuiceFeast! But I know it will take time and patients...two things I am blessed to have access to right now.

Peace,
Kyle

Juice Feast: Day Two

2008-03-02T20:47:00.000-08:00

Sleep: 1:00 a.m. to 7:30 a.m.-- felt headachey and HUNGRY when I woke up today...a little hungover perhaps from a late night coconut water feast? Now I am getting the "end with a green juice" thing. Thank you David and Katrina for you wisdom!
Water: 32 ounces with lemon, cayenne, MSM, probiotic
Rebounding: 20mins-- I love rebounding, but when you have a headache it feels a little bit like banging your head into a wall...but after about 5 mins everything started to relax, thank goodness!
Skin brushing/tongue scraping: I've been scraping my tongue x2 a day for several years now. It is an old Ayurvedic remedy that recommends you do this life practice right upon rising and before taking in any liquids or food so that you don't swallow the toxins back down that your body worked so hard to through out all night!
Hot/cold shower- I swear my eyesight is sharper from these showers!
Juice: 64 ounces "green lemonade" -- romaine, celery, kale, cuke, apple, ginger, lime
Coconut water: 20 ounces
Juice: 22 ounces of "Brain Food" - beet, carrot, parsley, ginger, lime
Juice: 32 ounces of "Italian Stallion" strikes again!- celery, carrot, collards, cuke, scallions, alfalfa sprouts, endive, dill, lime, tomato, kelp granules
Juice: 32 ounces of "Paradise Punch"-- pineapple, cuke, mint, lime --SOOOO good!
Coconut water: 12 ounces
"White Truffles" (hardened coconut oil) w/bee pollen, cinnamon and honey: x2
Plain water: 160z
Hemp Oil: 1 Tbs
Yoga: Decided to stay home and do a home practice. Got all my fav's in including some deep twist, which are great for encouraging BM's.... Speaking of which, dun dun dah...
Enema: Being a colonic therapist, I have to admit that I am a bit of a snob when it comes to enemas and was sceptical that the results would be worth my time. But jeeper creepers was I blasted away, literally! I will spare you from the beautiful details, but let's just say it was ALL green! I wonder why? haha
Sun Kissed: 20 mins --now that the days are getting longer, our sweet little patio (aka the fire escape) has become a perfect little sunning spot. Between my Paradise Punch and tanning session I felt transported to the Fiji Islands --that is until the fire engine sirens came screaming down 5th Avenue!
Body Work: 1 1/2 hours of deep, deep tissue massage and structural alignment -- This was my second of ten sessions and it was mostly focused on my legs and fee. Literally I could feel my practitioner squeezing the acid out of my muscles, tissues and cells....it was wild. He kept saying, "what do you mean you feel acid?" All I could say was that it feels exactly how it sounds- hot, pungent and sharp. Boy, did I feel wobbly and wiped out after that release!
Cat Nap: 30 mins just enough to let my body rest and assimilate the healing powers of touch therapy.
Feng Shui: I have been ignoring cleaning my "office" for months now....definitely a lot of piling and not filing action going on, until tonight! I have no tolerance for disorder and clutter these day. I can't wait to see how transformed our pad will be once this is all over.
Before and After Photo Shoot: I am not going to show them now, but I figured it would be fun to take photos of my body, skin, tongue and toe nails once every week till I break the feast- just to see if there are any noticeable differences. I am most curious about my toe nails (they have never been the most beautiful things in the world)!

I feel so much gratitude to have been gifted an entire 24 hours to JUST taking care of myself. What a luxury! In fact, I don't know if I have ever done this before? There was so much more ease of being juicing this morning....no where to go, nothing else to do--just me and Beauty (my juicer) creating one amazing blend of flavors and colors after another. Tomorrow will be a different story, as the work week begins, so I am savoring these last moments of total relaxation--juicy ben style (laptop in bed :)

I highly recommend body work while feasting. Today's session was so ALIVE. My body was incredible sensitive and highly in tuned with every muscle, tissue, bone, ligament being kneaded and put back into their proper places. With each stoke, visions of streams and free flowing water came to mind, and when my therapist would hit a sticky spot, I imagined the water wrapping itself around the rock and without hessitation flowing forward and moving on, unfazed by the "obstacle." Very liberating feeling.

I want to end today's post by sending my mother, who is struggling right now with letting the energy in her body flow freely, a little extra juicy love. She unfortunately had to go to the ER after falling on the ice and straining her already arthritic hip and back.

May we all have watery dreams tonight.....

xxkyle

Juice Feast: Day One

2008-03-01T17:27:00.000-08:00

Sleep: 1:30 a.m. to 9:00 a.m.
Water: 32 ounces with lemon, cayenne, MSM, probiotic
Rebounding: 15mins-- just enough to get last nights "last supper" moving and shaking
Skin brushing, hot/cold shower: YIKES, there is no compromising with my shower- the hot is HOT and the cold is damn COLD
Juice: 32 ounces "green lemonade" -- romaine, celery, collard greens, apple, ginger, lime
Coconut water: 20 ounces
Juice: 22 ounces of pink grapefruit, orange, lime, parsley
Juice: 32 ounces of "Italian Stallion"- celery, carrot, collards, cuke, scallions, basil, endive, dill, lime, tomato, kelp granules
Coconut water: 12 ounces, pure liquid heaven I tell you!
Bee Pollen: 1 Tbsp with cinnamon and 1/2 tsp "enriched" raw honey
Colonic: I am so grateful in times like these that I am a colonic hydrotherapist! My plan is to do three colonics a week with enemas at home in between. Let it flow, baby!
Sauna: 40 mins of sweaty bliss with eucalyptus essential oils

Day one went by so fast! For the most part it was really easy--no crazy hunger, although my tummy did rumble a little waiting in line for my coconut water at Pure Food and Wine Take Away. For those of you that don't live in NYC, Pure is one of the best raw food joints in town. The little take-away cafe, separate from the main restaurant, sells coconut water by the liter and today was a 2 for 1 special! It felt like Christmas...I must be having beginners luck :)

So I was a little short on juices, water and supplements today. Not the best way to start off a feast, but I can tell it is going to take me a few days to figure out how to spend more time drinking and less time shopping, chopping, juicing, working and peeing! Many of my supplements are still on route (I ordered a bunch of them only last week). But its ok, because I want to clear out some "junk" first. In preparation for this cleanse, I was working hard to put on weight (starting weight would have been 126, but now I am 134--with my clothes on) and in the process I ate lots of not so good for me sticky foods. Ekkkk :( Now I have to work hard through this past months muck to get to the good stuff....ahhh the trade offs!

Gil Jacbos, an amazing colonic hydrotherapist here in the city always says in regards to supplements "you can't water a tulip through a brick wall." In other words, if your colon is full nothings gettin' through, so don't waste your time or money. Makes a lot of sense to me!

Other observations on the day-- I need a juice making strategy. I have been drinking a liter plus juice daily for almost a year now, but going from 1 L to 4,5,6 L's is a whole other juicing game! This morning, I found myself wasting a lot of time and energy fumbling around the refrigerator looking for this or that and trying to compose my juicing menu on the spot. Tomorrow's plan will include coming up with my weeks juicing menu and organizing my fridge accordingly for optimal efficiency.

No real emotional ups and downs yet, although my dad emailed me and my older sister a really nice "update" on how things are going for him and family in frigid (-32 below!), snowing northern, VT. My dad rarely takes the initiative to reaches out and connect so when he does it goes straight to my heart. A few tears welled up as I read his email...I wanted to reach through the computer to give him a big hug.

Even though this is just day one, I can already feel my cells are ready to transform themselves into beautiful, delicate, bleeding hearts (one of my favorite flowers).... As intense as it will be, I am SOOO ready to let it all go in order to make more space for love, light and happiness.

Before I turn in for the night, I want to send out some virtual juicy blessings to all my fellow juice feasters, past and present, as well as all my number 1 fans from the sidelines. Without all your cheers and smiles my juicer(Beauty) and I would feel very lonely......

BIG HUGS AND KISSES!

Kyle

Twas' the night before JuiceFeasting......

2008-02-29T18:26:00.000-08:00

I am feeling a lot like a kid on Christmas eve –excited, nervous, baffled that it is REALLY tomorrow, anxious to know the outcome, yet a little nostalgic that today is almost over and my life as a chewer as I know it is done –for now.

This month I have been trying to “bulk” up knowing that I don’t have a lot of extra weight to spare for the feast. Well, as liberating as it has been on many levels to be actively TRYING to gain weight, it has come with some other not so nice consequences too. I have been mostly raw (average of 80%) since June 1st, which for the most part has been working really well for me. However, I do live with a non-raw person who happens to enjoy many tasty snack and sweets that are not raw (curse Trader Joe’s!). This past month I have been finding my fingers diving into the tortillas chip bag and cookie jar and even or spoon into the ice cream all in the name of “preparing for the juicefeast.” Hello? Is this the biggest contradiction ever? Definitely! And I have to say I feel HORRIBLE. Actually mildly poisoned would be a better description. I feel as though my head is floating in a foggy existence and there are little weights on each eyelid. My thinking and comprehension is dull, my nose and ears feel slightly clogged, and my body is overheated and inflamed. If nothing else, this little walk on the “other side of the tracks” has reinforced the fact that my body is a temple not a garbage can and thrives on a raw diet. If I didn't need to detox before, I sure do now!

So that brings me to why I am a doing this extreme cleanse in the first place and what I am hoping to get out of it.

There are SOO many reasons why I have decided to do this cleanse. I have been slowly manifesting my way here for some time now –mainly with the desires to take my health to the next level. Like I said before, raw eating has served me very well and relieved a lot of skin, anger, acidity, digestive and food issues I have been working through with various methods and modalities for years now. But, while raw foods have helped relieved the symptoms to my problems, the roots remain deeply embedded in my cells.

The biggest challenge is my addiction to sugar. Essentially, I came out of the womb a sugar baby – 10 solid pounds of it! My mother claims that she only craved sweets when pregnant with me and with no malintent she indulged herself completely for 9 whole months. So here I am, 28 and feeling like a junkie. When I was a kid, I used to spend all my allowance at the candy store, and when my money ran out I would steal quarters, dimes, nickels, whatever change my dad would dump into his change pile for another fix. The entire process of getting the sugar to eating the sugar was my mission in life. I felt out of control and out of my skin –completely disconnected from what my body was telling me (usually-STOP!). And this out of control, sneaking something sweet into my mouth without anyone watching, noticing, witnessing has carried through into my adult life. As a kid its one thing to be eating a bunch of junk, but as an adult and a health care practitioner no less, the guilt, shame, frustration and utter disgust I have with myself has lead me to the mother of all detoxes, juicefeasting. Nothing is worse than feeling like a hypocrite and I am SOOO over it!

The other major pattern I am attempting to bring to the surface and then heal with juice is chronic overeating and my food possessiveness tendencies. I am not entirely sure when this all started for me, but I do remember one distinctive moment as a child when I first felt like food was not a guarantee and I might not always get enough of it.

My parents adopted both my brothers when I was 3 and 4. Up until then it was just my older sister and I. (My older sister, by the way, was the total opposite with me when it came to sweets. She was the type of kid who could have Easter candy still in her candy bowl when Halloween rolled around. Me on the other hand, consumed ALL of my Easter candy by the time breakfast was being served.) When my youngest brother, Zac was adopted he arrived very malnourished and ravenous, to say the least! A few days after being with us my mother made spaghetti for dinner –a staple meal and one of my personal favorites --that is with butter and cheese, NO SAUCE! So Zac was sitting right beside me scarfing down his food at a very fast pace as he had never “feasted” before. Next thing I knew he reached over and with both hands grabbed all of my spaghetti off my plate and proceeded to eat it very quickly. At first, everyone, including myself was in complete shock by what had happened! But seconds later my parents erupted with laughter. Had I not been the victim, I am sure I would have laughed too, but seeing as I was the only one without food on my plate, it was no laughing matter. Up until that moment in time, it had never occurred to me that I might never have enough or get enough food in my life. I felt so unprotected by my parents; I mean how could they have let this happen and then laughed about it? I am sure soon after the inncodent they got me more spaghetti, but that part of the story I don’t remember—the damaged had been done and living with two brother and a sister all 2 years apart meant survival of the fittest.

Now, when we get together for family dinners, nobody speaks about what happened that faithful dinner some 25 years ago, but rather my never dieing reputation of being the ruthless “Food Nazi” of the family. My food possessiveness was not to be messed with, especially around sweets and snack foods.

My mom used to make us Pillsbury dough-boy cinnamon rolls on Saturday mornings— you know the kind that would come out of the tube and be topped with thick, white, sugary goo? Anyways, I used to watch those buns bake in the oven like a hawk. Once they were done I would without shame grab as many rolls as I could get away with, and ALWAYS without fail the middle one with the most goo. No one dared take the middle one or else they knew they would suffer from my screaming fits of rage. It sounds silly, but it was serious business and my siblings still bring it up to this day! So it is high time I confront my fears around food, which has lead to chronic overeating, over-stuffing and under-chewing.

I have to say though, as much as I don’t want to be addicted to sugar or over-stuffing myself anymore, I am really fearful about letting these parts of me go. They have been with me since the beginning of ME and the unknown of what letting go of these comfortably miserable habits is super scary. Sugar makes me feel terrible, but it also connects me to “mother.” Overeating makes me feel gross, but it also makes me feel safe and grounded.

What will I feel like without these safeguards? And who will I be and what will I become?

Having grown up with so much instability and uncertainty, I claimed food as my personal territory and sugar as my “drug of choice." The unknown of what life without them will be like is terrifying.

And yet, I am so ready to stop giving all my power away ever time the sun goes down and dessert is served. I long for the day when I can savor just ONE bite of sweetness, on occasion, for the pure joy of it and nothing more.

xxkyle

Welcome to my Rad Rat Jucing Exp!

2008-02-27T20:00:00.000-08:00

Welcome. Bienvenida. Accueil. Empfang. Boas-vindas. Het Welkom. Mottakelse.

To those of you who know me, you won't be surprised to find me once again pushing the bounderies of what may be considered legally sane. For those of you whom I have yet to meet, I invite you full heartidly into my juice-filled world for the next 30/60/92 some odd days. I am dedicating my body, mind and spirit to the juicing cause aimed to heal myself and the world one alkalining, nutrient dense, vibrant, love infused juice at a time.

Any words of wisdom, cheers of support or tears of love can be left on my comments page. And thank you all in advanced!

xxJuicykyle

PS: Still figuring out the whole photo thing...be patient my friends, this low-tech green gal will crack the code soon! xx